The "O" Gang

3 Month Update

2012-02-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

Another month has just flown by! It is time to update the blog and the baby book... which I really need to work on!!

Let's just cut to the important stuff... drum roll... JB started sleeping through the night at about 12 weeks old! Woo hoo! We started having Daddy give him a bottle at 10 or 10:30 and that seemed to help him sleep through most of the night. Then on Super Bowl Sunday, he randomly slept straight through the 5 am feeding, and has been doing that ever since. Can you tell that sleep makes me really happy? Here is a picture taken the morning that I found him still sleeping happily at 8:15 or so. He still has nights where he eats at 5 but overall, I'd say we are "sleeping thru the night"

JB is starting to move towards a more extended feeding schedule during the day. Just recently he has begun taking about an hour nap in the morning and then going down around 1 or 1:30 and sleeping for 2-3 hours. Then he catches a cat nap in the evening before bed time at 8 or 8:30.
This little guy also decided to give up his swaddle and using the paci over a couple of days last week. He just found his thumb and already seems pretty attached... hence he gets super upset (which was a clue to me because it takes a lot to ruffle his feathers) if you try to wrap him up or force a pacifier into his mouth most of the time (much to his sister's chagrin).
Gone are the days of snuggling with mama before naptime or nightime- since he doesn't like to be swaddled anymore, JB prefers that I just set him straight in his crib when he is tired. Not a bad thing, I know- but I do miss those sweet moments with him!!
I couldn't believe it, but JB has started laughing! I wasn't expecting to get treated to giggles so early- but a couple of weeks ago he let out a belly laugh when I was tickling his sides, and now he will laugh for funny faces, peek-a-boo sounds, and pretty much anything that could be considered silly. He is a very easy laugher (that doesn't sound like a word to me, but oh well!)
JB is pulling on his toys on the play mat and will reach for the toys on the bouncer as well. The playmat is honestly one of his favorite places to be during the day. He loves the lights and making the rattles shake. Tummy time is also fun for him. He will happily play on his boppy pillow and likes to watch what his sister is doing from there. Emme enjoys tummy time too- haha!

JB loves for you to sing to him or do patty cake. His face just lights up with a huge smile!
In true boy form, he has started to make some pretty serious sound effects and blow big bubbles. Cute stuff :)
JB is seriously centimeters away from rolling over back to belly. That will be fun to see soon.

I love, love, love my sweet boy and enjoy every second with him. Here he is with Mr. Giraffe

Goin' to the Lodge

2012-02-02T15:40:00.000-08:00

This post could really be titled, "Continuation of Gotta' Brag on the Hubby" because not only did hubby go out of the way to surprise Emme and I with a treat last week, he also suggested a spontaneous family outing to the Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine. January and February are really busy months at work for Ben, and he has to work a lot of weekends and late nights. I thought it was very sweet for him to take the time to plan a stay-cation for us considering how crazy life has been. It was great for us to have time to reconnect as a family. He took off Monday and we headed out Sunday around noon to our destination.

Emme had such a blast at Great Wolf!! True to her nature- she was scared of nothing and full of energy. She went on every slide she could go on about 1,000 times. Two of them were really big- and I heard several people say that there older kids wouldn't even go on it! Of course, by the end she was doing it all by herself :) That is just Emme to a tee. One thing we thought was funny was that she kept saying excitedly, "Dat's really cold! Dat's cold!" when she would come off a slide or attraction in the pool. We finally figured out she was trying to say, "That's cool!" :) Haha- she is a pretty cool little girl.

The park was full of fun things for her to do. She loved the wave pool and she liked to get in there with us and then pretend she was baking muffins or brownies which would then be swept under by a wave. She would say, "Oh no!! My brownies! Day at the bottom of da pool!!!" She is so funny and has such a wild imagination. She also liked riding the little waverunners they had in the kiddie pool. She liked for us to ride on the back with her and she would put a pretend helmet on us and then "drive" us to various locations like Target, Walmart, Jazzercise, and Church. (Can you tell that is pretty much where we go these days??) I just love listening to her as she is starting to grow up and have all kinds of stories to tell.

I wish I had better pictures of our time at the Lodge, but as I have mentioned in previous posts, it is A. really hard to get decent pictures of a toddler and B. even harder now that I have a 2 month old in tow. Most of my pics now come from my phone- thank goodness for mobile uploads!! Notice that none of my pics show the actual pool... nice, I know- but at least I got a few of our kiddos!

Emme was READY to swim as soon as we got there :)

Grabbing a quick pizza dinner and sporting Great Wolf ears.

After dinner she was ready to swim again. She and Daddy stayed till it closed at 9 pm!

Emme's souvenir was a special glitter wand from the gift store :)

She carried it with her to the pool on Day 2. Haha!!

JB chilled poolside with mama. (Cool, calm, and contented as always)

No nap for two days = one exhausted little girl when we finally left at 4pm the next day ;) But she just loved every second of the trip. And somehow we managed no meltdowns (woohoo!!)

I couldn't resist a little family time in the photo booth! I love my sweet girl and handsome boys. Hopefully we will go back to Great Wolf again- it was such an awesome time and I loved getting to be with my family for this special occasion.

Patty Cake

2012-02-01T12:58:00.000-08:00

Gotta Brag on the Hubby

2012-01-26T14:24:00.000-08:00

This morning I got up and reached for my phone as I do pretty much every day. I saw there was a text from Ben that said, "I love you!" "Awww! He's sweet." I thought to myself. I quickly responded, "Love you too!" and wandered sleepily into Emme's room (as she had been saying, "I wanna wake up!!!" for about 20 minutes). Since I had already decided that today was going to be a PJ day, I just got her out of her pull-up and into some Minnie panties and then we followed our routine of going over into JB's room and getting him up (right now I usually have to wake him up around 8 or 8:30 to eat... I know it is wrong to wake up a baby... but since we are still working on sleeping all the way through the night it has to be done) :) Then the three of us made our way into the living room and I started to feed the baby. Starting episode 1 of Micky Mouse Clubhouse for our lazy day, I had no sooner sat down in the recliner then Emme ran over and said, "Mommy!! Look at dis! What dis?!" She was holding a beautiful rose in her hand.

Oh my goodness!! I ran over to the kitchen where she had come from (poor JB is pretty used to getting dragged along while nursing, taking multiple breaks during nursing to tend to "random" incidents, or feeding on-the-go... I could go on for days about how laid back this child is... but that is another post, and I digress...) Here is what I found sitting on the counter:

Such a GREAT surprise!! Ben knows how much I love Starbucks, and I used to indulge in it way more- but now it is hard for me to get out of the house or time feedings after outings to go and grab a coffee. He had left extra early to go to the store to get me one before driving back out to Frisco for work. He also picked up that lovely rose and 2 treats for Emme and I to bake together. We have gotten into the habit of baking at least one thing together every Thursday, but this had been a very busy week and I had not had a spare minute to get to the store... and considering the lack of energy I had had last night, I had casually mentioned to Ben that I doubted I would make the trip out with both kids today (hence no baking, and a sad, sad Emme). It made me smile from ear to ear that he would be so thoughtful- not just for me, but for Emme too.

I finally connected the dots on the text from the morning too :) I immediately called Ben to thank him and he asked if we had looked in Emme's play house yet? We hadn't, so we peeked in while I was on the phone with him. He had also left a rose for Emme. She was pretty stoked... Exhibit A.

All of this to say. I am really thankful for my husband for turning this potentially ho-hum, lazy Thursday into something a little more special. It was funny because I was seriously out of energy- but the shot of love and espresso my husband sent me actually got me motivated to clean the house as well today! I think I got myself a good one.... God has really given me a wonderful guy :)

JB's 2 Month Update

2012-01-16T19:48:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that JB is 2 months old. What a joy it has been so far!! Here are some fun facts about our little guy:

Talk about smiling? This kid has been smiling since about 3 weeks old. At first mom and Ben didn't believe me- but they soon witnessed it too. He is an easy smiler. If you show off your pearly whites to him... you will get a sweet gummy smile right back.
He is cooing like crazy. The combination of coo and smile seriously melts my heart- even at 2 am.
Speaking of 2 am- as of right now he is doing about a 5 hour stretch (usually from 8 to 1) and then usually wakes about every 3 hours...or more... from there. Mommy would love some more sleep soon, but luckily he will go down pretty easily after feeding so that is good. (Maybe I should read this post to him?) I also have to give him mad props for being an amazing napper so that helps to make up for the current lack of night time zzz's.
JB loves to sit on the activity mat and look at the lights, and tummy time is something he actually really enjoys and rarely fights. I am spoiled by how easily entertained he is. It's no joke that he can sit on that mat for a good 30 minutes and stare and stare. He seems to be quite the observer.
He has two favorite toys right now, and both have black and white patterns on them. He literally tracks them like a hawk and grins from ear to ear when you put them in front of him- so funny!
JB can roll onto his side and has been doing this for about the past 2 weeks or so. There are literally times that he is just sooo close to making it all the way to his belly. It has been really consistent so I'm predicting that he will be an early roller.
I love snuggling and cuddling with JB!! It is so fun to kiss him and look into his eyes, and pat his bottom as he drifts off to sleep. It is so neat having a baby that will let me do that to him :)
He takes quite a bit of affectionate abuse from his big sister. Emme is so completely in LOVE with him and is ever the helper. I have a ready supply of diapers, wipes, toys, pacis... anything I could ever need (or not haha) and if she can do something for him- I let her. He is smothered in her kisses and hugs daily.
JB is not a huge fan of the paci. It is good occasionally for a fussy moment during the day- other than that- don't bother trying, it is one of the only things that makes him get irritated ;)
I know I'm totally bias but I still get blown away by what a great baby he is. And I also think he is super smart (again I know I'm the mama- but what can I say?) He is already reaching for toys on the bouncer and play mat, and will also do this sort of "laughing" talk- so stinkin' cute!! He is very responsive to Mommy, Daddy, and Emme's voices and is just a happy go lucky little guy.
Stats at today's check-up: 12.8 lbs and 22 3/4 inches.

I can't wait to see what the next month will bring. Love you buddy!

Let's be honest...

2012-01-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

God uses our kids to refine us. Right now I feel like I'm a garden being pruned with a weed-whacker! I'll be the first to say that I have a tough time with change, I'm a perfectionist, and I like things to be just-so/follow a rule book (by the way who is it that wrote that rule book?) I tend to get caught up in what I'm not doing, compare myself to others, and get discontent. I will also say that I am a total wuss when it comes to night time sleep. My least favorite part of having an infant is the lack of rest (particularly at night). I get cranky, impatient, and downright grumpy at times!

Thank goodness for a little book called 10-Minute Time Outs for Moms. It is totally saving me right now with little glimpses of hope from the Word. Today I read about how God disciplines us so we can become more like Him. Ouch! When life changes, boy does it send me reeling. Pull a few creature comforts (aka sleep and showers) from this girl and I get super whiny with God. I love the prayer from today's quiet time though. And I am praying it over and over!

Heavenly Father,
I praise You for demonstrating tough love through Your discipline. It's not pleasant, but it teaches me how to live. You have a purpose: that I might share in Your holiness. I embrace Your ways, Father, for they will bring me righteousness and peace if I allow myself to be trained by them (Hebrews 12:6-11). Amen.

I posted my struggles with piles, lack of "productivity", feeling tired, and just general crankiness on facebook today and received such encouragement from fellow moms in the trenches. God has been good to remind me that I am in a "season" of life that won't be around forever and I do need to be thankful in all things. A friend also shared this reminder with me:

Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings.

Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible.

Thank you, Lord , that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising.

Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud.

Thank you, Lord, for my family.. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the picture in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced,

Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is stressful or monotonous.

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest.

Thank you, Lord, for life.

I also remember that saying, "A clean stable is an empty one." I'll take the fullness of the "messes" I have around my house today and do my best to be thankful. I'm glad God cares enough about me to not leave me as I am. And when the day comes that I get a little more "done", get a little more sleep, and get to take a few more showers, well... I will praise Him then too.

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T19:49:00.000-08:00

Here we are in 2012!! And while we are all adjusting to our new life as a family of 4, I must say that I am so looking forward to all this year will hold. It has been a great few weeks having Ben home and I am super sad to have him returning to work tomorrow morning. Definitely a perk of teaching!! Mom left just before Christmas, and I was less than excited for Grammy to head back up to the great land of Wisconsin, but I have been doing my best to focus on how AMAZING it was to have her here for 2 months. We were most definitely spoiled by her company and I am thankful to the Lord that she was able to stay for so long- such a blessing!

Christmas was lots of fun this year. We made it to the Christmas Eve service and it was fun to get the kiddos dressed up and experience the season as our new family unit. Emme was so cute and fun to watch over the holidays. This was the first time that she really has understood any of the Christmas story and season, and I loved seeing her light up at all the festivities! I am also thankful that my mom was here to do some fun Christmas crafts, baking, and other fun activities with her- as mommy was a bit preoccupied during November and December ;). She learned "Away in a Manger" and "Jingle Bells" and could sing both by heart. She could recount the basics of the Nativity story and loved playing with her Nativity scene and "Mawy and Jofef and Baby Jesus." She also found a love for Santa (I think she visited him 3 times at various locations and events) and could tell us that he would say "Ho Ho Ho!" The concept of presents (what she wanted to receive) was still beyond her though. And if you asked her what she wanted for Christmas (like Santa did at the Northpark Mall) she would respond, "I two!" Haha... being two years old is pretty much her standard response for any question she doesn't quite understand and of course, the coolest thing ever.

Emme, Rylan, and Ransom at the Christmas Eve Service at DBC

Emme and JB visit santa at Northpark Mall

We kept things pretty low key this year... seeing as how we have a newborn and all ;) It was fun just hanging around the house and doing things together as a family. Christmas morning ~~we all slept in~~ Daddy made us yummy banana and peanut butter pancakes and we opened stockings and presents leisurely. It was so fun watching Emme and we wanted to soak up every minute of the excitement over even the smallest thing. She wanted to play with each item in her stocking and LOVED unwrapping presents. Ben and I didn't exchange gifts or stockings this year, but it was the best gift ever just seeing Em enjoy the things she received from Grammy & Pappy, Uncle Scott & Allison, and Mommy & Daddy. JB slept peacefully through it all :)

Emme enjoying her new "Abby Dabby" doll

Sweet siblings in Christmas PJ's... it doesn't get much better than that!

Our feeble attempt at a family pic ;)

Here's to a wonderful 2012 and all of the adventures it will bring!

A Christmas Miracle

2011-12-14T14:50:00.000-08:00

I had to post this picture here for several reasons. First off, JB is officially one month old today! And what a cute picture to commemorate his 1 month milestone!!

I can't believe it because the time has literally flown by. Talk about a sweetheart... he has totally stolen mine and I can not get enough love from this little guy. He is a cuddler, and such an easy little boy! I have enjoyed every second snuggling with him and just getting to know his sweet personality. He is already smiling and holding his head up really well. And true to newborn form he spends most of his day and night eating and sleeping. What a handsome little boy he is- blessed isn't really a big enough word. And to say that I feel spoiled by his happy-go-lucky demeanor is just a small sample of how much of a joy he has been in this short month.

And now to the picture... did you know it was possible to get a 2 year old and a 1 month old to simultaneously smile under a Christmas tree?? Me neither!! But I am calling it my Christmas miracle and here is the proof :) Thanks, mom, for capturing the magic! I will be getting a frame for this one.

JB's Newborn Photo Shoot

2011-12-14T14:33:00.000-08:00

A huge thanks to Monica and Pixel Perfect Photography! Here are a few of my favorites. I love that she was able to capture him in his sweet sleep at 2 weeks old. I just love capturing that innocence!

My Little Turkey's Birth Story ;)

2011-11-24T14:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! I have so very much to be thankful for this season. I just love this time of year when the air finally starts to get a bit chillier and life is full of family, food, and festivities! I have extra blessings for 2011. My sweet, sweet John Bailey arrived on November 14th.

I guess it all started with Elf. That is sort of a long standing labor tradition with my kidlets I suppose. I watched it in the hospital with Emme before my pitocin really kicked in and it helped me laugh and try to relax ;) I had been feeling really good for my entire pregnancy with JB, seriously he was so easy and so kind to my body. Even at week 39 I was feeling great, going to Jazzercise every day, and wondering if I needed to somehow make myself more uncomfortable in order for him to make his way on out.

Then at 39 weeks 5 days, it hit. I was suddenly got really ready to have this baby!! I couldn't sleep, couldn't get comfy. I ran out of things "to do." I had honestly waited till the last minute on a lot of things because I had a sneaking suspicion from the very beginning that he would not be early. I had an appointment with Betty, one of the midwives on Friday and my blood pressure was slightly elevated. She suggested I try to take it easy over the weekend and get some rest. At that point I was 3 cm. dilated and 70 % effaced. I indulged in spicy mexican food and spent a ton of time on the birthing ball trying to coax my little boy into a favorable position for labor to come on.

So Sunday comes, and I am officially 40 weeks. Wow. I didn't feel like my body could stretch any further. I didn't have the heart or energy to make it to church. I was trying to keep myself relaxed and not get into a mental game of "when will he arrive???" My sweet best friends finally convinced me to make it out of the house for a last "bring on labor" pedicure. They were so kind- didn't ask me any questions about when he would be here, just supported me, made me feel loved, and made my toes look pretty and pink :) When I got home I had quite a few strong braxton-hicks contractions, but I had half expected that to happen after the awesome hot stone massage I had just gotten on my pressure points.

That night, as I was rolling away on the birthing ball- I happened to come across the movie Elf on USA. It was a marathon that was playing all night. I "ran" (waddled?) into the next room to tell Ben that it had to be a sign. However... bright and early the next morning I awoke and... no baby, no real contractions. I was officially "over due" 40 weeks 1 day, I know, but man was I ready for him to be here.

I made it up to Inanna for my check-up, Jean (my midwife) took one look at me and she said, "Oh honey, you are ready to have this baby, aren't you?" She offered to check me and see what was going on. Again my blood pressure was up a bit for the 2nd time, and when she looked I was now 4 cm (she said she could stretch me to a 5) and 80% effaced. In her words, "Your cervix is as soft as butter." I was so relieved when she said, "I think you will have this little boy today or tomorrow!" Hallelujah, it was so awesome to hear that I wasn't going crazy to think he was ready and so was I! Jean recommended I go home and go on a regiment of pumping for 30 minutes, followed by walking for an hour. After completing the rotation twice, she said I should come back at 1:00 for a follow-up.

I went home and started the process, again trying to keep my mind and body relaxed and not over-think the situation. I had told Ben to just stay at work and come home at noon to be with me, but as soon as I started pumping, I immediately got emotional, started crying, and begged him to come home as soon as possible (he did). :)

The first lap of walking around the neighborhood, my mom and Emme joined me. I was kind of like a woman on a mission. I'm sure I looked like a huge crazy lady to everyone that happened to see me. Ben made it home for the second session and we talked about how we wouldn't get our hopes up and that most likely we would be returning home for at least a few more hours- just trying to remember that birth is a process, and sometimes a long one.

I definitely began to feel regular contractions, but having only experienced chemically induced contractions, it was such a different sensation that I didn't know what to think really. We threw our stuff in the labor bag, brought the poster, and a few snacks, and kissed Emme goodbye while mom put her down for a nap. (Have to put in a plug for my mom here. Wow, I don't know what I would have done without her. During the morning she had watched Emme, taken her to the store, picked up smoothies, packed lunches and snacks for us... again all while in charge of a 2 year old!!)

When we got to Inanna it was about 1:30 or so. Jean checked me and... I was a 6 and in active labor! She told us to unload our stuff and fill out paperwork- we were officially staying to have a baby. Yeah! I couldn't believe it. It was really here. I called Elisabeth, as she was coming to act as my doula (and my best friend!) and we also let mom know it looked like baby day! We started by pumping again and the contractions picked up. When Elisabeth arrived, we headed across the street to the park to start walking at TWU.

Walking ended up being my biggest strategy for pain management. Ben and Elisabeth did such an awesome job of distracting me and telling me stories while I walked (in my head it was really fast, like a power walk... but I was told it was more like a slow moving hover round, haha). We came back to be monitored and then did another round. Then things started to move really quickly. Around 4:30 I asked to be checked because I wasn't sure if I could walk anymore around the park. I was between 7 and 8 cm. I was so happy at the progress, but things were really getting intense!

At that point, I asked them to start filling the tub. I was definitely interested in a water birth, but wasn't sure it would work out- or would be effective for managing the pain. I paced around the room and swayed on Ben while Elisabeth pushed on my back. As soon as I could get in the tub, I did and boy did things pick up from there. I could tell I was in transition, and honestly my memories from that point are pretty blurry because I was wanting so much to get into the next phase!! I had asked Elisabeth to call my mom to come up with Emme when I started to push because I wanted them to be there shortly after JB arrived.

Well, all of a sudden, I felt a huge jolt in my body, like an elevator dropping inside of me. And all heck broke loose!! I needed to push or at least try to relieve the insane pressure I was feeling. Between 5:20 and 5:30 it was clear to me that it was the now or never point. I could feel his head coming down when I would bear down. According to Elisabeth who was texting updates to my mom at the time, I started to really push at 5:32 and at 5:35 he was born!! Absolute euphoria is all I can say. It was a rush of emotion like no other. I don't think I'll ever be the same. We were able to come home at 8:30 that night. At home, holding my new baby, enjoying my family. I'm thankful. Happy birthday sweet John Bailey, Mommy loves you.

John Bailey Oehlschlaeger, November 14, 2011 5:35 p.m. 8lb. 8 oz. 18 1/2 inches long

Look Who's Talkin'

2011-11-10T14:47:00.000-08:00

I wish I could document all of the funny things Emme is saying right now. What a fun age!

"That's Uhmazin!"
"Mommy! You got a big tummy?"
"Mama, I hold J.B. aaaaallll day. I swing him. I tickle him. I touch his poopies!"
"Jesus make my heart happy."
"Please change my diaper." (incidentally... is this a clue you are supposed to start potty training? Hehe)
"I do it myself!"
"Mama, I love you sooooo much. I miss you sooooo much."
"I sweep (sleep) weally well."
Me: "Emme, why don't you sing us a song?" Emme: "I need a stage!"
"I queen Esther."
Emme Singing: "Bwoccoli, celewy, gotta beeee... vetails...."
Emme: "My daddy work aaaaallll day. I go to daddy's work." Me: "What are you going to do at Daddy's work?" Emme: "Sing songs!"
"This jacket cozy."
"I eat Dowa Yogut (Dora yogurt)."
"I two!"
"Daddy's a boy, mommy's a girl, J.B.'s a boy, I a girl.... Daddy's a GIRL... noooo... hahahaha."

Top 10 reason why we love Grammy

2011-11-08T13:10:00.000-08:00

10. She cooks us delicious meals.
9.    She cleans up after us (and even DEEP cleans!!!) and insists I sit in the recliner while she handles it.
8.    She chauffers us around town and loads/unloads toddlers, bags, groceries, etc.
7.    She loves Target and Starbucks and is willing to take an outing there any time :)
6.    She enjoys shopping with and for the girls.
5.    She has been here for 3 weeks and is staying till Christmas!!!
4.    She changes diapers, gives baths, does laundry, allows a toddler to wake her at 7:30 am...
3.    She happily babysits and provides free date nights- even an overnight stay!
2.    She loves Emme and is willing to do just about anything for her.
1.    She gives sacrificially over and over again, and is such an amazing reflection of Christ's love.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, GRAMMY!!!

Prayer Requests

2011-10-19T14:04:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the things I am praying about as life is about to change in the next month or so! I know these are pretty detailed, but I know that God is in the details and He does care about even the smallest stuff. Thank you for praying with me.

Natural labor and delivery process without complications. Smooth transitioning from laboring at home to the birth center and ability to use coping techniques and supports. For the balance of mental and emotional focus along with the ability to let go.
A healthy remainder of the pregnancy and a healthy baby boy who does not need extra interventions or specialists.
Good recovery and bonding time with JB.
Stress free experience with nursing. Specifically that he will have a good ability to latch and will not have any food or milk protein allergies or reflux issues.
Emme's adjustment to being a big sister. That she will continue to have the same love and excitement about her little brother as she does now. And that she will enjoy time with him and respond well to the new family dynamic.
Financial provision to pay for the rest of what we owe towards the birth and early infant costs/check-ups/etc. Also just extra costs that come with adding another child to be covered.
Overall peace and a laid back atmosphere in our home as we adjust to #2. Also opportunities to rest and adjust as a family.
For me to be relaxed and enjoy the infancy stage and not second guess every decision. I am really praying about less anxiety overall and just enjoying the whole process rather than trying to feel like everything has to be perfect.

L&D Storyboard

2011-10-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in earlier posts that I was hoping to create a story board for inspiration and encouragement during labor. I have been feeling the urge to nest lately, and Ben was gone with Emme for the evening... so tonight was the night! It was a lot of fun to look through pictures and come up with the phrases and verses I wanted to include on the poster. Emotionally cathartic I would say! 4 weeks and counting till JB'S due date, I am glad to have had a little time to start getting my head in the game.

Praying Through Your Pregnancy

2011-10-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

Just stole this from a neat book I've been reading (title of the post). I think these are great to pray for not only during pregnancy but into every stage with my kids!

Passion: Lord, please instill in my child a soul wiht a heart for You; a heart that clings passionately to You (Psalm 63:8) and the things that are good, true, noble, lovely, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).

Purpose: Lord, I pray that my child's life will serve Your purpose in his own generation (see Acts 13:36; Esther 4:14).

Faith: Lord, I pray that faith will find root and grow in my child's heart and that by faith my child may gain what has been promised to him (see Luke 17:5-6; Hebrews 11:1-40). Reveal Yourself to my child at an early age (see I Samuel 3:7).

Favor: Lord, I pray that my child will grow in stature and favor with You and with men (see I Samuel 2:26).

Courage: Lord, may my child always "be strong and courageous" in his character and actions (see Deuteronomy 31:6).

Contentment: Lord, teach my child "the secret of being content in any and every situation as You give him strength" (see Philippians 4:12-13).

Quick Update

2011-10-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

Here's some of what Emme is up to these days:

She is taking a Tiny Tutus class at the rec center on Saturday mornings. She says she loves it, and will do the moves for us at home... but while we are there she is firmly planted in either mommy or daddy's lap ;)
She loves, loves to read. We have started revisiting story time at the Library again (this time around she is much more interested, haha). Some of her favorite books are the "words" books she got for her birthday. She just loves to point at each picture and name it. I get a kick out of how many she knows- there is nothing cuter than hearing a two year old say "watermelon" "popsicle" "shovel" "kite" "picnic"
She is super excited about her little brother. She rubs my belly, kisses it, feeds it, "puts it to sleep". tickles it, shares with it... I could go on... Needless to say I am fairly certain she will be happy to play the mommy role to JB when he arrives. I was out of town this weekend and when I got back her first words to me were, "I miss JB." Haha- mom hold second place, clearly.
She still loves blocks, puzzles, and anything with pieces that can be put back together. She is extremely methodical in her thinking. Everything as a place and there is a procedure for most everything. A needs to happen before B and C. Mess with that at your own risk :)
She just started counting all the way to 10 by herself. And she will count anything! Also, she will mostly just count to 10 anway, even if there are only 3 objects.
She can sing pretty much the entire alphabet song, Jesus Loves Me, and Open Shut Them. We also just hear her busting out a random pitch a lot of times- she will tell you she is singing if you ask what she is doing.
There are times when Emme is practically talking in complete sentences now- this still astounds me!
She is growing very attached to Veggie Tales now. Whereas in the past she would never pay mind to the TV at all, she is starting to request one of the Veggie shows at least once a day now (a skill I hope will be helpful when brother gets here, woohoo!)
She is beginning to memorize a few verses. At night we have been learning John 3:16, Ephesians 6:1, and Luke 6:31. She likes to do the motions with them :)
The park and mall/chick-fil-a play place are a lot of fun for her. She requests them practically every day ;)
She likes to pick out her outfits and begins almost every day by saying, "I need a bow!" (even at 7 am).
She is forever mommy's helper- cleaning, laundry, dishes, organizing... no task is too big for her! She wants to be a part of it all. One of her favorite things to do is help me cook in the kitchen.
Meltdowns happen.... often for no apparent reason :) One positive thing though, is that I can see the Lord working in her heart even during those times. A couple of weeks ago after a random fit, followed by discipline she said, "Jesus help Emme's heart." Thank you, Lord that you redeem us.
She is more and more fun, and more and more of a blessing each day!!!

More Than You'll Ever Know

2011-09-23T03:19:00.000-07:00

Gratitude.

That's the topic of this post.

Over the past few months, our family has been through a lot of stretching and pulling. I know that is how the Lord works. He loves us exactly the way we are, and yet His love is so deep that He refuses to let us stay that way. I have a habit though, of resisting change. Yet God in His kindness will continue the good work He has begun. He won't allow me (or my family) to remain shallow.

To be honest, this pregnancy has been such a peaceful and easy and calm and natural experience for me physically and emotionally- but financially and spiritually it has challenged our family in ways I really wasn't prepared for. It is funny how it always comes back to trust. When I was pregnant with Emme, I spent the entire pregnancy learning about trust- and constantly having to lean into the Lord, knowing that He would take care of her and also letting go of so much fear after our miscarriage. This time around, it has been facing another fear- namely, financial insecurity and fear of the unknown.

I am so thankful to the Lord for allowing me to stay at home with my children. There is truly no greater joy for me than to be with them every day, teaching, playing, knowing their little nuances, capturing every special moment. It is a treasure that is priceless, and I am blessed, blessed, blessed by it!! I am thankful that my husband feels the same way, and that he works countless hours to make sure I am able to care for them. Living on one income has never felt "burdensome" to me. But when the costs of this pregnancy, and anticipating health care, and every day needs as JB arrives started to become more of a reality, I confess it drove us to our knees. We still aren't sure about how it is all going to work out. But what I am learning (over and over) is that God wants our family to rely completely and fully on Him alone.

And am I so foolish not to believe His Word? Doesn't He take care of simple things like birds and flowers? Didn't He hand-pick JB and place him in my womb at just the right time? Isn't He completely and totally aware of our situation- and isn't He bigger than our day-to-day anxieties?

Even though I still don't have the answers, and the big picture is unclear, I know that God's timing is perfect... rarely early, but never late. He is Jehovah Jireh, my Provider. And there are people in my life that He is using in ways they probably can't even imagine to provide for our family's needs. I am so thankful for those people (and you know who you are) who have allowed me to be vulnerable, have prayed with me, have lifted my family up in prayer, have provided babysitting, have given time and resources, have given generously in so many ways. You are the hands and feet of Jesus. And when I am feeling weak and afraid, He has used you, and continues to use you to encourage me and remind me of how big our God really is.

I don't know how to repay my friends and family that have so willingly taken on our family's needs and cares and continue to love us sacrificially. Thank you for being the body of Christ to me. But I hope this song will share a little of my gratitude, as you mean to me More Than You'll Ever Know (courtesy of Watermark).

Something brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you
Something about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I've been near God
And that's the way it ought to be...

CHORUS:
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies
'Cause you've spoken the Truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh, you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah
You had faith, when I had none
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll
Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it ought to be...
You have carried me
You have taken upon a burden that wasn't your own
And may the blessing return to you
A hundredfold, oh yeah...
A hundredfold, oh yeah...

Birthing from Within: Part II

2011-09-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

We just finished up our last birthing class last night. It has really been a blessing to learn more and gain confidence about the whole process. I have a lot to be thankful for, especially our sweet friends, the Sraders, who have taken care of Emme every Tuesday night so that we could go without paying for a sitter. I am also so thankful for the wisdom of the midwives, Betty and Jean, and birth assistant, Marissa. It never ceases to make me smile when I hear them add in things like, "That is the way God intended it..." or "We believe God designed things this way..." etc. It is so cool to know that the people that will be with you during one of the most vulnerable times in life also share your faith in the Lord. I "graduated" yesterday evening feeling excited and very much looking forward to JB's arrival, and ready to put into practice the tools that I have gained over the past 6 weeks.

Last night we got to talk a lot about post partum care and breastfeeding, both of which were really important topics for me personally, so it was great to have a whole class devoted to that. I feel so much more prepared, and while of course you can never predict what birth will look like- it seems as though I have many more ways to cope and remain flexible this time around. I can't explain how different it all feels this time. So much less anxiety, just embracing and enjoying the natural process, and also feeling much more joyfulness about the prospect of bringing home a newborn instead of fear.

I have about 8 1/2 weeks until my due date and am enjoying this time with just Emme and Ben. I know that things will no doubt be crazy for awhile with an infant and readjusting to late night/early morning feedings, schedules, gear, nursing, and all that fun stuff. I really am doing my best to treasure this little window of opportunity and soak up "Emme time." I'm also surprised at how much of a bond I already feel with JB. I have a lot of love for this little guy- and I guess I don't remember feeling this attached before!! I'm typically such a thinker personality that I can really sabotage myself and take a lot of the fun out of things because I'm always processing it and making things complicated (really annoying personality trait I might add). So its neat how God just continues to pump me full of awesome hormones and happiness about this birth, and how by His goodness I've been able to sit back and relax. I am so thrilled for the next chapter of life.

Meet John Bailey

2011-09-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

My two best friends surprised me with an amazing gift for my 28th birthday, something that I never would have done for myself, but was so, so cool to experience! They blessed me with a 3D/4D ultrasound of my sweet little boy!! I was really excited because I have only had one sonogram with JB and it was at 18 weeks- when he still looked very "skeletor" and we didn't come away with any cute little baby profile pictures. Anyway, the prime time for a 3D sono is 28-32 weeks when the baby is perfectly round and well developed but not so stretched for space that they can't move much (isn't it funny how this also coincides with the time when Mommy also feels beautiful and "cute" pregnant but shortly before she starts to feel like a small elephant?) ;)

So now that I am officially 30 weeks, we scheduled our appointment and it was awesome! I must admit that I wasn't prepared for how attached and in love I would feel in seeing John's sweet baby face. It was extremely real and I could not believe the details we could make out. I was literally melting when I got to see his chubby cheeks, pensive expressions, tiny toes, and adorable nose. He is quite the handsome fellow if I do say so myself. I'll share my proof with you...

Needless to say, I am just a wee bit excited to meet this little guy. 10 more weeks? I think I can handle that. :)

Faith Like a Child

2011-09-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

It has been really eye opening lately to see just how much Emme is able to communicate. For so long, you say things to your kids, hoping and praying that some of it is being absorped. I feel like I am always praying for Emme to have a heart that it is sensitive to the things of the Lord, that she would have an intimate relationship with Christ in a personal way even from an early age, and that she would understand that obedience brings blessing, not that it is just a set of rules from Mommy and Daddy.

All of that to say God has really started showing me that He is working His ways in our little ones lives, even if at times it is hard to see and you wonder when there will be any fruit. I wanted to document just a few of the "revelations" I have been noticing. Not because there is any glory in those for Ben and I, but because we rejoice that even in our sinful, selfish, imperfections- Christ will still make Himself known to the smallest of these.

Emme has started to use the word "Obey" more frequently. Like, "Mommy or Daddy said, Obey" or "I obey/Emme obey." That alone to me has been such an encouragement. One of the things that Ben and I both pray for her is that she will have a clear understanding of the place of authority in her life, that it comes from God, and that as her parents we are a steward of that authority. I have been trying to use this phrase with her (I know that I can't expect 1st time obedience on every occasion with a 2 year old) to help her remember that obedience needs to happen right away because whatever it is could be important for safety, or removing her from harm, etc. "Obey, Obey, Without Delay!" It is really cute when I hear her say "Wifout Deway!"

She has also started saying, "I go church." many times when we get in the car :) I love that she enjoys church and also that she is understanding that it is a normal part of our routine. The other day she was in the guest bathroom and happened to pull out a cross key chain from a bathroom drawer. She picked it up and said, "Jesus on Cross." Wow. It just baffles me that even at 2, she is picking up on Bible stories and truths that we are repeating, even if it seems at the time that she isn't getting it at all.

Emme also loves, loves music. She has memorized Jesus Loves Me, and we sing it together every night before bed. Oh I love to hear that little voice singing such precious words!! She also started saying, "I got joy joy joy in my heart!" "Daddy got joy joy joy in my heart!" "Mommy got joy joy joy in my heart!" So funny. It is just neat to see God working Himself into her being.

I am encouraged that God cares for these little ones. He desires after them, just as He desires after us and wants us to know Him more deeply.

Birthing from Within Part I

2011-08-26T13:36:00.000-07:00

With the 3rd trimester upon me I figured it's time for me to start documenting the process of JB's birth story. Things are starting to move pretty fast now and I think I will forget a lot if I don't write it down. And there are just so many neat memories about this pregnancy that I have enjoyed and would be good to have written down for posterity.

This time around I just came into the pregnancy thinking totally differently. For one, JB wasn't planned. Obviously we understand the whole concept of the birds and the bees, but he just came along totally without a schedule, "trying," or actually even giving much thought to the idea of seriously working on Baby #2. Really it was a gift from God. I have always had the tendancy to overplan (some call it worry) :) about things, so it was really awesome to just randomly have him placed in our lives. I guess that sort of got the whole ball rolling in my mind towards finding an alternative to the hospital experience and all of that.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against hospitals (heck I gave birth in one!) and I have nothing against pain meds or epidurals (I had both). It's just that this time I decided to try something different. I started exploring birthing centers early on and came upon Inanna through a series of different stories and testimonies from friends and strangers who had a wonderful experience there. So the more I learned about it, the more I wanted it to be part of our birth story for JB. It has been totally different, but totally amazing. Being with a midwife has been great because it seems like the care is very personal and much more conducive to having a "normal and uncomplicated" pregnancy with limited interventions. I certainly believe there is a time and a place for more intervention, but I love their philosophy- which is basically that God created your body to be able to give birth, and in most cases, everything is developing and progressing as it should. And not only is birth normal, but giving birth naturally is normal too. Never once have they pressed that philosophy on me, it is just the way Inanna is set up is so conducive to helping ease any anxiety you might have about birth that it just feels right.

So now having come to the conclusion that not only would we using a birth center and midwife this time, but also a natural labor--- I really felt like I needed some tools. Luckily, Inanna offers a wonderful child birth class. I did the child birth class through the hospital with Emme, but other than "try to stay relaxed and breathe" I didn't come away with many tools I felt could be used. I know there were are lot of factors involved in Emme's birth (induction... pitocin... internal monitors... lots of time in a bed... etc.) but still I felt totally unprepared for how to handle contractions and the pain that is involved in childbirth.

So we are taking a class based on Birthing From Within with the midwives at Inanna. The class is at Jean's house, which is very laid back and just makes you feel like you are hanging out with friends. I think Ben was pretty unsure about the whole thing and he was afraid it would be all hocus pocus and "out there." I can honestly say, it has been so practical and so helpful! Every week we have learned some different pain coping techniques and have discussed different psychological and physiological aspects of childbirth. I'm learning that they need to become a habit, rather than just a technique- so I am trying my best to use them where I can so I will be more prepared when the time comes. Some of the things I've most enjoyed learning about are how effective non-focused awareness, ignoring, and the power of distraction can be! During one exercise, we had our hands holding freezing ice for 60 seconds, but I had no idea it was that long because I was so busy watching all of the distractions around me that the midwives were creating. (I guess I just need to do most of my labor at home in the presence of my toddler) ;)

Some of the other things I have enjoyed learning about are the importance of nutrition, vitamins, water, and some organic teas and homeopathic remedies that can be very helpful both during and after pregnancy. It is isn't mystical at all- it is just really cool to see how some of these very natural things can truly help make your pregnancy more pleasant and energized so you can enjoy this stage of life! It also makes me want to be better about using some of the supplements when I'm not pregnant!Something else they have discussed in class that I would love to do in preparation for labor as well is to create an inspiration story board. It is a creative way to put lots of encouraging phrases, pictures of your family, Scripture, and anything else that helps you use positive and forward thinking even in the midst of the pain all onto a poster that you can look at and focus on during labor.

One other beautiful thing I wanted to share was about the story of Inanna. Again just looking at the name you might think, "Wow that is really out there, or out of my comfort zone." (that would have been me not too long ago). But I loved when the midwives explained how they came up with the name for the center. Basically it comes from a mythological tale in which a Queen (named Inanna) is called to the Underworld to find her brother in law who has passed away. But at each gate that she comes to, the guard requires her to give something up before she can enter the next level. Originally she walks in a glamour girl, and by the end of the story she is standing naked and with nothing left. At the the last gate she must give up her crown. Eventually she even dies, but is brought back to life with the the help of others. Anyway, all of this to say- they chose the name Inanna because of its deeper meaning for women who experience the journey of motherhood. By becoming a mother, you are giving up your maiden form. Motherhood is all about sacrifice, what you are willing to give. How deep you are willing to go. Not just in the birth experience- no that just scratches the surface. But once you hold that baby in your arms, it is a whole new world of small and large sacrifices, and it is a lifelong journey... but so rewarding for those that are willing to embrace it.

I have a 2 year old!!

2011-08-11T13:09:00.000-07:00

It seems so crazy, but Emme officially turned 2 on August 7th. It is a really ~~crazy~~ fun week because there are LOTs of birthdays to celebrate, parties to go to, cake to eat, and people to relax and laugh with! Between our sweet friend, Rachel's new addition, Kyrielyn Rae who arrived on the 3rd, Emme's birthday on the 7th, Ransom's birthday on the 8th, and my birthday on the 10th... we pretty much stay on a sugar rush for a solid week! It is great!

Emme had her 2 year check up on Monday and true to form she held tight with her stats that make us wonder if we had a 6 ft 5 in. mystery person floating somewhere in our gene pool. Either that or she'll max out at 5th grade like her mama and basically quit growing altogether at that point ;) :
WT: 31.4   93%
HT: 35 1/2 89%
HC: 48 1/2 77%
Dr. G asked if we had thought at all about potty training. I looked at the "signs of readiness" list and she had every single one of them except for "wants to learn." Haha. Anyway I am in no rush.
.
She is such a funny little kiddo. I have enjoyed this toddler stage so much already and she just seems to get more and more fun the older she gets! At this point I don't hold much to the "terrible two's" term... (check back in 6 months?) Anyway, she is seriously just a joy and I love that every day is a new discovery and full of lots of exciting adventures for her.  You can catch her saying "Was dat, mama?" at least 65 times a day. :) I love it.

We sort of threw the party stuff together last minute (it felt too early to me to try and organize a "theme" other than cake and presents), so the night before her party we were at Target just getting the basics.  I let her pick out the plates and napkins she wanted, and no surprise- she chose "princess." This all started when we found a My First Words book at the library that was princess themed and she was immediately hooked. Feeding the addiction is the Yoplait "princess" yogurt that that we pretty much consume a pack of every few days. I can only imagine when she is old enough to watch the movies, choose a favorite princess... obsession I tell you!

We had our friends over for lunch, cake, and presents and it was so fun to watch all the kids just run around and play. The cupcakes were a hit, and presents took forever because each one that was opened needed to be played with by all of the babies first :).  I think Emme really does have a little bit of Cinderella in her because her favorite gifts were a cleaning caddy (courtesy of the dollar store... and saved since Christmas because she was too excited with other things to open it then), and a vaccuum cleaner that Aunt Elisabeth got her. Seriously... you could not pry that thing from her hands.  She also insisted that it be stored in the closet with Mommy's vaccuum cleaner. Serious stuff.

Afterwards we all hit the waterpark for a bit where the kids showcased their amazing swimming and sliding skills. It just amazes me that last year she was barely crawling around the freezing water, and this year she is walking up to the slides by herself and going down at lightning speed, laughing all the way and asking for MORE!

I wish I had a few good pictures to commemorate the day... but what I learned is that it is REALLY hard to get those kodak moments when there are toddlers involved. It is just a whirlwind of activity!

Happy Birthday to my sweet, sweet Emme Lou!!! Every minute with you reminds me of God's love and affection for us and I hope that you will come to know Jesus more with each passing day!!

Just for Fun

2011-08-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

As much as this little girl would love to go outside.... She will just have to keep up her wishful thinking till the triple digit temps die down!!! :)

The phase we are in...

2011-07-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

Is so much fun. So far I think that just about to be two-year-olds are pretty much the best. I know it is kind of cliche to say that "motherhood just gets better and better" but it is true! Why do I know this?

We've gone through a box of bandaids in a matter of weeks (for some real "injuries", yes) but mostly because they fix all visible and INvisible boo-boos.

Toes must be painted pink at all times.

Blueberries are "bluesies" and strawberries are "stawbees." Also, "Dis' some good melon!" is something you might hear.

Counting sounds likes this, "1,2,4,6,7,8,10!" Other numbers are optional.

JB is already getting tickled nightly. Poor brother better get used to serious affection.

Name is spelled "E-M-E". Out loud, frequently. And these are the most important letters of the alphabet.... clearly!

"I draw, Mom. Star, heart, circle!"

Night time prayers include being thankful for chocolate milk.

Life is good :)

Do Everything

2011-07-25T19:28:00.000-07:00

I recently heard this song on the radio by Steven Curtis Chapman. It reminded me also of some of the things I have been reading in the book The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. The lyrics of the first verse just remind me that no matter how small the act, or how routine, or how hum-drum, or how "meaningless," everything I do can be done to the glory of God and it is made "meaningful!"

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you
Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do
Little stuff big stuff in between stuff
God sees it all the same

Happy 4th of July!

2011-07-04T13:28:00.000-07:00

Wisconsin Memories

2011-06-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

Family picture while Emme was napping.

Enjoying strawberry shortcake with Daddy!

My personal strawberry :)

Lovin' some park time!

Riding high on the biggest slide at the park...

Catching a hug from Uncle Scott.

Look Who's Talkin'

2011-06-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

We hear a lot lately coming from our almost 2 year old.... some common phrases... there are so many now it is really hard to keep up with!

I shoppin'
I runnin'
I jumpin'
I dancin'
Grammy
Pappy
Shcott (as in Uncle Scott)
Peekee & Bullet (puppy dogs she loves)
Outfit
I go peepee/poopoo
Emme silly
E-M-M-E (She will spell her name out)
1-2-3-4- 6- 9- 10! (Her way of counting to 10, especially fingers and toes)
I play
Jazz-cise :) (this makes me happy)
Shewwwweee (when there is a stinky diaper)
Scuuuze me (after burping)
I do it
Good Job, Mama! (personal favorite)
Emme cozy (after being in her big girl bed)

Summer Days

2011-06-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned how much I love summer?!? It is so wonderful to have Ben at home and I can not express how awesome it is for him to get extra time at home with Emme. There are really challenging things about teaching, but having extended time with Ben is such a huge bonus that it makes up for it! I am trying to soak up all of the fun times together as our family of three, knowing that it will be different (exciting and wonderful, but also an adjustment!) next summer having a 7 month old also in tow ;)

We are enjoying the carefree schedule we get to have. Days look something like this:
Wake up & have breakfast together
Jazzercise with Emme while Daddy gets his workout/ Hang around the house and play
Eat lunch
Nap
Play and Eat an easy dinner (favs this summer include pb&j, grilled cheese, or something on the grill)
Pool Time!! (Emme coined this term by the way)
Bed Time

Basically this is our M.O. from June to August and I just love it! It is so fun to watch Emme play at the water park. We love the fact that she can go up the slides all by herself and it is so neat to see her jumping up and down in the water and enjoying the season. Some of my favorite memories of my childhood are at the pool and I am glad she will have those as well. It is great having such a cool place right down the road from our house- we will bring her PJ's to the pool and stay there till it closes. She is so exhausted when we are done she heads right to bed.

Here's to many more days of fun in the sun!!

Brotherly Love

2011-06-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

We found out on Tuesday that we are having a BOY! It was an exciting time to finally get to see this little guy, and I was especially happy that he cooperated and revealed his gender :) Emme has been really sweet, kissing mommy's belly and even trying to tickle her little brother in utero. Poor little man is gonna be in for some major love from his big sister! She has already learned his name, J.B. (John Bailey) and also thinks that he lives in her belly. I am just soaking up every second of this pregnancy and have really enjoyed it this time around. It is neat to think there will be another baby to love in just a few months.

So fun to see his perfect little fingers!

Giving us the "thumb's up!"

Sorry, J.B., have to show off the boy proof! ;)

Emme has a secret to tell...

2011-04-30T11:40:00.000-07:00

Can you guess what it is? :)

We are so excited to meet Baby #2 in mid November!!!

Easter Pics

2011-04-30T11:36:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful time celebrating the Resurrection with friends and family. After church we went to the Srader's house for lunch and an egg hunt. Rylan and Emme had a blast looking for eggs... and eating the contents :)

Sweet friends!

Family pic

Swinging after the hunt!

He is Risen- and that is why we celebrate!

San Antonio Trip

2011-04-22T23:35:00.000-07:00

We got to join Daddy for the annual CHS choir trip- this year it was just a few short hours away in San Antonio! We had such a blast on our family vacation.

San Marcos Outlet

Made a bee line for the shoes at Gymboree ;)

Family pic at the Hard Rock Cafe

Sea World was so much fun!

Feeding the dolphins with Daddy

Mesmorized by the huge fish tanks!

Carousel with Mommy

Splash Zone!

Ferris Wheel with Dad

Peace, Love, Choir, Baby!

Lovin' some Daddy time!

Emme's World- 20 months

2011-04-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

You have just recently started getting air under your "jumps" as you call them
Babies and all things concerning them (paci, blanket, bottle, diaper, etc.) are pretty much an obsession
You still love to eat pretty much any time, pretty much anything
Ever the organizer, your toys all have a home and you are very good about cleaning up any messes
In fact, you've been know to cry over spilled milk :)
Emotions run high around our house lately and you are never afraid to express your delight or distaste
Open mouth kisses and lots and lots of hugs are in order and I never tire of the affection! I think we get more snuggles now than ever before!
You still love, love, love to read. Current favorites include Good Night Moon, Let's Celebrate Jesus on Easter!, Baby Colors, and the Veggie Tales book God Made You Special
Speaking of Veggie Tales... it is all we can listen to in the car now. You cry when I have to take the CD back to the library! So we had to invest in a couple of our own :) You will also tolerate anywhere from 10-15 minutes of TV now (and by TV I mean either Veggie Tales or The Wiggles... don't even try anything else!!) It is so funny- you are very particular and like what you like! And you go get your bean bag chair to sit on, usually request something to drink, and then turn off the dvd player and take your bean bag chair back to the corner when you are done- so funny!
You are officially paci free! Woo hoo! Mommy and Daddy told you that you were a big girl now and big girl's don't have pacis anymore. (Sort of unsure how that would go over.) It was hard... but we pulled it cold turkey! You did sooooo great. We should have had more faith in our big girl because you handled it like a pro. You even took a great nap that first day without it.
Night times have a ritual of bath with Daddy and then books and prayer time with Mommy around 8. Then Daddy comes in and sings to you before you go to sleep. Since we took paci it usually takes about 5-10 minutes or so before you settle down, but then you are out until 8 ish the next morning!
You still love to dance and sing. When Mommy sings to you, almost every time I finish a song you will say, "More!!"
You are definitely a helper. Even at church the nursery workers say that you are the first to help out with other babies (they say you need a sibling) :). And at home you gladly help Mama with laundry, vaccuuming, dust buster, even wiping down counter tops. We are a good team.
You are learning more and more about what it means to obey... without throwing a fit :) We pray for a cheerful heart that is repentant and seeks to know the Lord even at an early age. You are also learning to look in Mommy and Daddy's eyes and to say "Yes Ma'am, or Yes Sir" We pray for a tender and teachable heart!
You are so fun to listen to when we are praying. Mommy can hardly say "Pray" before "Yaya, Dada, Bubba, Nick" comes out of your mouth. You love to pray for others.
You love playing outside with Clara the cat, or with chalk, or bubbles
You love to "draw" especially with markers :) seriously you will be entertained with art supplies for 30 minutes at a time!
You are really good at puzzles and stacking blocks and such- I think you have a very organized mind. You have a plan for how you like to do things.
I love being your mommy :)

Baby Blue... bonnets that is :)

2011-04-22T22:42:00.000-07:00

Not so much a fan of sitting in them

Maybe more like running through them

Or stopping to smell them

We love our little flower girl!

Emme’s words (In No Particular Order or Significance) - 20 Months

2011-04-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

Just thought I should try to document a few things to sort of catch up on all the fun stuff Emme is doing/saying right now. So I am starting by listing out the common words she will say, unsolicited and unprompted. I am sure I am leaving some out but I am doing my best to try and make up a list. I should add that she will pretty much try and say anything if you ask her too (yikes!) :)

Mama, Mommy, Dada, Daddy, Meme (Emme), slide, chalk, cat, Clara, dog, jump, walk, diaper, wipe, bath, eat, nose, eye, mouth, ear, hair, neck, back, toes, shoes, cheese, Veggie Tales, egg, jelly, apple, nana (banana),YaYa (Rylan), Bubba (Ransom), Nick, Papa, nacks (snacks), poon (spoon), pray, play, Jesus, book, Bible, paci, blanket, seat, bottle, cup, milk, juice, trash, cracker, church, no, yes, yeah, hat, sun, teeth, water, brush, Casey, kiss, car, bus, bird, fish, clock, light, down, up, close, please, thank you, ball, baby, balloon, shirt, pants, sorry, bubbles, duck, blocks, bow, socks, two, eight, go, hop, cereal, boo boo, draw

Mommy's Little Girl

2011-03-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

A big thank you to Tessa, who captured these at the park last week...

Next Food Network Star?

2011-03-01T13:42:00.000-08:00

Notice the resemblance?

Chef Anne Burrell

Future Chef Emme Lou?

I think she pretty much rocks this look ;)

Valentines Day

2011-02-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

My funny Valentine enjoying her balloon from Daddy (saying her signature, "Cheeeeeeese!"

Decorating Valentine cookies with mama

Sprinkles!!!

Yummy....

With love from our hearts to yours... a wonderful Valentines Day!

Clearly, my daughter read my previous post...

2011-01-04T17:45:00.000-08:00

I had my next blog entry by 8 am. This morning when I went to get Emme out of bed she immediately started saying, "bow...bow...bow." Being rather persistent, and having skipped the whole "Hi Mama" part, I got out the bag of bows and put one in her hair (which was also put in pony tails within the first 2 minutes she was awake). She then said, "More!" ... excitedly.... "MOre!"... with emphasis ... "MORE!" By the time it was all said and done, this was the final result.

Dear Emme,

2011-01-03T18:19:00.000-08:00

Your mama has done a sorry job keeping up with your milestones since you turned one year old... and now you are almost 1 and a half! It is just crazy the difference that one year can make. Last year at this time you were just learning to sit up, nap (hehe- I'll tell you that story some day!), and start rice cereal. At almost 17 months you are a hilarious, wonderful, sweet, joyful girl. You absolutely light up our lives.

- You impress us with your knowledge of animal sounds: sheep, lion, horse, cat, dog, elephant, bird, monkey... you also think that pigs say "lalala" because of the Sandra Boyton book we read and any other animal pretty much says "Raaaaar!"
- You can tell us where your eyes, nose, mouth, ears, belly button, and hair are and say each of those words. You like to find them on our bodies too.
- You love to eat. You have a dinner bell that goes off and you expect a meal :) Your favorite food is definitely "snack snacks" (fruit snacks)- you know exactly where they are in the pantry and can find them yourself. In addition you will tell us "cracker" "nana" "fruit" "cheese" and you will also lick your fingers and smack your lips when the peanut butter comes out :) You will also readily tell us "please" and "thank you." Seriously adorable stuff ("thank you" also means, "I'm gonna do this for you now...")
- You are also READY for nap and bed time. You will happily pronounce "nite nite" and sign "sllleeeep" and hop right into bed, laughing, because you are SO ready. It makes us laugh too.
- Music is so fun for you. You love to turn on music and dance. Lately you have started spinning in circles to the music- I think you like the feeling of being slightly dizzy. Haha!
- You are an organizer. Everything has a place. You will organize our remotes, your toys, anything with pieces. You like to know how things work- and take them apart if possible. You like to unscrew water bottles, play with Daddy's itouch, and do things that have several steps. Future engineer, maybe? Must be Daddy's genes- you are a Miss Fix-It. You love to be a helper to others and will help us clean up, do laundry, dust, etc. all with a smile in tow.
- Shoes could also be called an obsession for you... accessories actually. Hair bows, earrings, socks, gloves, hats... one word... LOVE. You have a special place in your heart for cell phones (ours are prefereable).
- You have started to play independently. We will find you happily playing in your room or any room for that matter! You love to close doors, and are very close to being able to open them too (I'm a little afraid!!)
- You are also getting more and more interested in books, favorites include... Lily's Twinkly Bedtime Story (classic literature- lots of glitter fairies involved) and Red Hat Green Hat.
- You are not a TV watcher but will watch Baby Signing Times and Veggie Tales sing along (Score!) You have learned a lot from Baby Signing Times- partially because you were forced to watch it about 25 times on our trip to TN over Thanksgiving. :)
- You have started posing for the camera (when you feel like it) and will say "Cheese!"
- Your BFF Rylan taught you to say your name. Especially at meal times you will say "meme...meme" too cute...
- You adore babies. You love to cuddle them, hold them, dress them up (accessories!), and carry them around. You also sleep with a special nite nite baby and paci (of course).
- You know our basic places that we go. You love to go out and about and will say "Bye Bye!" and rush for the door. You know when we are going to the store, jazzercise, or church.
- At church you have learned to pat the Bible- and at home we are learning about Jesus and learning to pray. Our greatest desire is that you will soon know Him as your Lord and Savior. We can't wait for that day!

I am quite sure I am leaving out some seriously humorous and fun tricks you can do right now. I hope to be a little better about documenting them, because the time is flying by and I don't want to forget those precious moments that happen in our every day living. I thank God for giving you to me, Emme.

Love,
Mommy

Pumpkin Pics

2010-10-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

The Ants Go Marching One by One...

2010-08-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

So beginning on Friday, Emme started to run a fever- first it was just a low grade, 99.5 or so, and with the bottom molars she was working on- and the shots she got on Tuesday, this came as no surprise. Well the weekend went on and the fever continued. By Sunday we were up to 103 and one sad little girl. I'll put it this way- she sat in my lap, in a rocking chair, STILL for about 30 minutes on a couple of different occasions! This busy bee was definitely not herself. But having learned that in the past when I have called the Dr.'s office, the nurse always says, "Well we really don't get worried till a temp of 104." (Crazy, I know, but whatever!) I held out thinking she would be better soon (and continued a tylenol drip). :)

So Monday morning rolls around and Emme is still out of sorts, fever is lower, but I can't decide it is worth the trip to see Dr. G (love the man- but I don't like it when he tells me, "It's a cold...") So I go ahead and make an appointment for Tuesday morning at 9... just in case.

Meanwhile... Ben and I have been noticing a line of ants that have been trampsing around the kitchen here and there for a couple of weeks. A can of Raid has basically knocked them out until last night. We noticed more of a stream, as the ants appeared to be "getting their army on." Ben said he would call the exterminator and schedule soon. No worries.

So as I sat rocking Emme last night before bedtime, I was praying, "Lord, I really don't know if Emme needs this doctor's appointment. Please make it clear to me in the morning whether we should go or not." Let me just say that if I ever doubted that God hears the tiniest of requests, it was confirmed bright and early this morning! As I walked into the kitchen to get Emme breakfast, a swarming pile of ants begins marching across the floor and into the living room. Seeing as how I could not sit my child on the floor without her being attacked by the little guys- we made a "bee"line for the Dr.'s office this morning, while Adams Exterminating got after the ants :)

By the way... Emme did have an ear infection. With the antibiotic she should be back to herself in no time. Thank you, Lord for caring about even the smallest of things.

In Hopes of Fall...

2010-08-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

~~~My house
             Smells like pumpkin roll scentsy
                     Sounds like Enya
                             Looks like a slow rain outside the window
                                       Tastes like hot, aromatic coffee
                                                   Feels like home~~~

Romans Reflections

2010-08-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

Scripture speaks for itself, what does it say to you today?

Romans 8:12-17
"So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. "

ONEderful times

2010-08-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to You...

Happy Birthday, Dear Emme...

Happy Birthday to You...

And Many More....

Love you, sweet girl!

The Shoes Make the Outfit

2010-07-29T07:56:00.000-07:00

Mommy!! More shoes!

(Emme kept doing the sign for more, then picking up her shoes and trying to hand them to me-

a first for her as of today).

I simply can't wear this diaper without these shoes! Now where are my sunglasses and hand bag?

A girl must have her accessories :)

A Parent's Prayer

2010-07-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

Psalm 25
Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord;
point out the right road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
Remember, O Lord, your unfailing love and compassion,
which you have shown from long ages past.
Forgive the rebellious sins of my youth;
look instead through the eyes of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O Lord.
The Lord is good and does what is right;
he shows the proper path those who go astray.
He leads the humble in what is right, teaching them his way.
The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness
all those who keep his covenant and obey his decrees.

The Countdown....

2010-07-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

We have a few countdowns going on at our house! Our little Emme Lou is inching every day closer to turning 1 (August 7th)! Wow! Does time fly? Really, I have started to believe so.

My best friend has a countdown going on too- so therefore it is also my countdown (what are friends for, right?)

She is due with her second baby on August 15th. So we are all wondering... who will make it to the countdown first? Will it be the new kid on the block, or the birthday girl?

Either way, I am thinking there should be cake involved! :)

Lady Liberty

2010-06-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

When Left Unattended.... ;)

2010-06-19T11:00:00.001-07:00

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

2010-05-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Rachel got to throw out the first pitch at the Rough Riders game in Frisco Thursday night. Of course we had to jump on the chance to head out to the game. A great time was had by all... thanks, Aunt Rachel!!!

Local celebrity, Aunt Rachel!

Our fun friends

Enjoying time as a family

Love my sweet Emme

"Emmeisms"

2010-05-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

Every time you sneeze it makes you laugh!
You love to splash in the tub
Your lovey is definitely the bumper of your bed- you curl up to it every time you are in the crib
You have absolutely no fear of water- at the pool you were playing in the sprayer, splashing and going after your toys even though it was FREEZING!
You have 5 teeth but are working on at least 7
When we put you in the jumperoo you start jumping as high as you can
Textures are so fun for you. You analyze things with your fingers.
You are doing the inch-worm crawl now! Selective crawling is what we call it- you like to go after things like cell phones, wallets, remotes... and Clara the cat :)
Other babies are pretty much your favorite thing in the world
We should buy stock in Gerber Puffs... you could eat us out of house and home
You smile with your whole face- and it is so beautiful!

Childproof

2010-05-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

Most of you mommies out there have probably seen or used these lovely little morsels- Humphrey's "3" all natural teething tablets. Some people swear by them. We have used them from time to time to help with the teething process, although I never really noticed anything super magical. Anyway, we keep them by the diaper stuff and Emme likes to play with the bottle (which makes a nice little maraca noise) while I change her.

Recently Em and I have taken to spending an hour or more outside after lunch and before nap. She is more than happy to play with toys and enjoy the sunny, warm weather- and I can usually get in a chapter or two (bonus of not having a totally mobile baby yet! He he!)

So apparently I didn't notice that Em was still holding on to her little maraca before we headed out the door to the front yard. Clearly I was lulled by the sound of the shaker because probably 15 minutes after being out there I hear her making a little sucking noise and look over to see she has unscrewed the lid (I personally think that takes some serious fine motor skills!), poured out all of the teething tablets- and started going to town. (I should add that they are totally harmless- and I think I saved her before she had managed to eat too many!)

Before kids I used to get annoyed by all of the childproof lids... now... well lets just say I have a different opinion! Guess I've got her new trick for story time! (Just kidding)

Pass the Peas Please

2010-04-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure when it happened, but eating out with a baby has become more of an olympic sporting event than a meal as far as I'm concerned.... that combined with a game of "Beat the Clock!" Granted, I do have a bit of an advantage since as a teacher you are trained to eat in 15 minutes or less- I still feel like I deserve a medal after my efforts taking a baby into an eating establishment by myself!

I was just talking with a friend today about the whole process (after we had just done it ourselves!) and her words pretty much pegged it. "Afterwards you think, did I enjoy my food/meal/dining experience... um I can't even remember!"

Eating out pre-baby:
1. Get a table
2. Order food
3. Talk & Savor meal with chosen company
4. Pay
5. Leave feeling great that you didn't have to clean up any dishes!

Eating out post-baby (over newborn sleep all day age):
1. Get a table
     a. table must be child friendly and avoid hitting passersby with baby gear if seat is too far out in the aisle
     b. strap baby into seat and assemble toys to entertain child until you can get food out (or discover there
         are no straps on the seat given to you and repeat process) :)
     c. simultaneously keep child from pulling on mini blinds on the window
2. Order food
    a. try to figure out what you want while pulling out snacks for baby, rearranging items on table so they are
        out of baby's reach, and discovering that jr. has a poopy diaper
    b. try to finesse waiter with cool tricks your baby can do seeing as how he/she will probably be leaving the
        table in disarray, though you try your best to minimize collateral damage :)
    c. order food and 50 extra napkins too
3. Talk & Savor meal with chosen company
    --- this just makes me laugh! I am good if I can remember the story I am trying to tell! It will take me the whole meal to finish one thought most likely. Continue multitasking.... ---
4. Pay
    a. If you have made it this far you have also made it through every scrap of food you have brought for
        baby in the diaper bag and he/she is politely letting you know the highchair is getting boring
    b. Attempt to do math to figure out tip and such (again I have not mastered the multitasking, clearly!) :)
5. Leave feeling great that you didn't have to clean up any dishes!
    a. Still feel good about this, but you are also feeling slightly guilty about the amount of smashed
        food particles under your child's seat, as well as the pile of wipes, napkins, etc.

Then if you are really lucky (again speaking from recent personal experience)...
Little one may let you see their lunch all over again on the way home. Not a fan of peas the second time around... :)

Mommy Guilt

2010-04-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

So I just have to take a quick second to rant a bit and get something off my chest. Emme and I have been going to Story Time at the local public library. I really enjoy it and it is a great program. Emme loves the songs, chants, and stories, and then they offer a little play time at the end for all the babies.

The routine is pretty much the same every week. The first thing you do is introduce yourself and your baby, how old he/she is, and somethine new they have learned. This isn't really a problem, as babies seem to pick up a new trick every day-- but today I was starting to feel a little intimdated by other people's "tricks." I don't really know why but there were lots of babies today in Emme's age range, and the stories from each mom kept getting bigger and bigger- like one of those fishing tales.

It sounded sort of like this...
Me: "I'm Janna, and this is Emme. She is 8 months old and she just started clapping recently."
Moms: "Awww! So sweet..."

Mom #2: " I'm --- and this is ---. He is 9 months old and walking all over the place! I can't hardly get him to sit down!"
Mom #3: "I'm --- and this is ---. She is 9 months old and saying "Baby... Mama... and Dada!"
Mom #4: "I'm --- and this is ---. He is 8 months old and crawling all over the house. He can also push behind his walking toys!"
Mom#5: "I'm --- and this is ---. She is 9 months old and she just started doing somersaults from her classes at the Little Gym." (at this point she proceeds to show us how her daughter can do that- quite impressive).

Anyway, after Story Time was over, I left feeling somewhat defeated. I love being around other moms, but sometimes it feels like a competition- and I don't like that feeling. All the tricks sort of piled up on me this week and I was feeling like, "Man! I'm behind! How to I get Emme to do all of that?!?" --Breathe deeply--

So now I'm trying to shrug off the need to compare and just enjoy the stage Emme is in right now. End rant.

Sunny Days

2010-04-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Recently we have been trying to take advantage of the amazing weather. On Saturday we made a day of it!

Playing on the swings with Daddy.

Is that Mommy back there pushing me?

Lovin' the Great Outdoors!

Quick Starbucks break...

Do I really want to get in that icy cold water???

You better believe it!

Work those sunglasses, glamour girl!

Our first trip away...

2010-04-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

Ben and I were in Branson, MO with the choir kids last weekend. We were so blessed to have my mom come down and take care of Emme. I knew she would be in great hands and that helped ease any fears I had of leaving her for 4 days! We had a great time. The weather was absolutely beautiful and even though we were surrounded by high schoolers (they are really excellent students) we felt like we were on vacation. We are always surprised by the amount of things you can squeeze in to a short amount of time without a diaper bag, feedings, car seats, and such! We visited Lamberts (home of the thrown rolls), Silver Dollar City, the Hard Luck Cafe (the servers sing to you), Dixie Stampede, and stayed at a gorgeous resort (we were quite impressed with the accommodations given it was a school-sponsored trip). Of course I don't have any photos to show- but I promise you it was a phenomenal trip. I would love to go back- Branson is a super family friendly town. The drive back on Sunday was the only part that got me! By that point I was SOOO ready to see my little girl!

While we were gone my mom took Emme to take pictures in the bluebonnets. Mom said that Emme was more interested in examining the flowers than smiling- but I love this shot :)

Emme's First Easter!

2010-04-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

The Easter bunny can be a little scary unless mommy is right by your side!

There! All better!

Ben's school hosted an Easter egg hunt.

Emme enjoyed playing in the grass and we did a little "hunting" on her behalf. :)

Daddy thought the basket might also make a cute hat!

She absolutely loved the beautiful day and just getting to play outside.

Posing on Easter morning!

Couldn't resist a little Easter snuggle with my baby!

Rylan and Emme at church... too busy playing to stop for a picture!

The whole "O" Gang! He is risen, praise the Lord for this wonderful day of Celebration!

Tears in a Target Store...

2010-03-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

Don't let the title alarm you, I'm sure most of you out there view Target as your happy place (I know I do). I use it as often as my budget will allow as an "out" from my weekly torture trips to Walmart. The tears I am referring to are those of tenderness, reflection, and joy.

Emme and I stopped in to the store this morning for a little outing and to pick up just a few things. While there, I couldn't help but browse the baby section (as they always have adorable clothes, accessories, and various and sundry things for little ones I find amusing). I pulled my cart over and looked over at the cutest little sundresses for baby girls and noticed that the sizes only went up to 12 months. For some reason this wave of emotion just rolled over me! Anything I would buy for Emme would be a 9 month outfit... leaving only one more size before she is "promoted" to the "toddler" clothing. What?!?

Emme was happily playing in the cart (which she now sits up in)! And I just couldn't help but fight back tears. She all of a sudden seems to be growing up so quickly. I will be the first to admit that the first 3 months of infancy were painfully slow for us. But now, things just keep getting more and more fun as Emme's sweet personality keeps developing.

All that to say... I just enjoy my little girl so much and every day with her is a treat. At MOMs group on Tuesday, one of our leaders again exhorted us to pray for our children. She suggested 5 specific areas.

Salvation- Lord, would you draw Emme's heart to YOU. Would her ears hear YOUR voice at an early age. That she would be sensitive to YOUR calling, recognize her sin and need for Jesus as Savior, and accept the free gift of Christ. Sanctify her and keep her yearning for the Lord.
Friends- I have heard it said, "Show me your friends, and I will show you your future." Lord, surround Emme with Christlike buddies. Peers that also seek You first and are unafraid of standing out from the world's trends. Protect her from the evil one that would try and expose her to people/things that would harm her. Help her to have discernment and be willing to stand for Truth.
Purity- Guard Emme's heart, O God. Help her to trust You with today as well as the uncertainties of tomorrow- seeking God's best and waiting on Him. Prepare her for her future mate and let her affections rest in You alone.
Schoolwork- Give her diligence, perseverance, and a desire to be obedient to authority. Give us wisdom to lead her in responsibility and good workmanship. May she seek to please and serve the Lord as the Master of her work, rather than men.
Church Involvement- I pray that Emme would seek to pursue a relationship with her Heavenly Father over religion. Set her heart on learning the things of eternal value. Help us to show her how to hide God's Word in her heart, discover spiritual gifts, and use the talents God has given her to benefit the Kingdom.

Dedication Day

2010-03-14T10:40:00.001-07:00

Father, I pray that Emme will live a blameless life, trusting You without wavering. Keep Your loving-kindness before her eyes. Help her walk continually in Your truth (Psalm 26:1,3). I pray that she will be sensitive to Your Holy Spirit, inviting You to search her heart, revealing any hurtful way. Lead her in the everlasting way (Psalm 139:23-24). May she put away any false god or teaching and yield her heart to You (Joshua 24:23). Amen.

Time Management 101

2010-03-10T18:13:00.000-08:00

This past week I have learned quite a lesson in time management.... in other words, I overbooked myself. Being a new mommy I have already gone through a season of quiet- I mean the kind of quiet where you start to go a little bit crazy-- and this week I experienced the other side of that coin.

By my own admission I will say that I didn't coordinate my calendar well, leaving me feeling spent- and wondering how being a "stay at home" mom all of a sudden became so hectic.

I have been going through the Study A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George at MOM's group, and it has really challenged me to think about listening to what God would have me do with "my" time, rather than just nonchalantly planning out the week and saying "YES" to everything.

A few points I've been pondering as I lean on God's grace and hopefully learn from this week!

Am I watching over my home (like the Proverbs 31 woman) or am I glancing?
Am I living as though I will be held accountable for the use of my time?
Am I taking the time to sow what I wish to reap?
Am I really being quiet before the Lord and listening for His voice to guide my steps?

I was inspired by this poem Ms. George quoted in her book:

Some have had kings in their lineage, Some to whome honor was paid. Not blest of my ancestors- but, I have a mother who prays.

I have a mother who prays for me, and pleads with the Lord every day for me. O what a difference it makes for me- I have a mother who prays.

Some have worldly success, and trust in riches they've made- This is my surest asset. I have a mother who prays.

My mother's prayer cannot save me, only mine can avail; But mother introduced me to Someone- Someone who never could fail.

Oh Yes... I have a mother who prays for me, and pleads with the Lord every day for me. O what a difference it makes for me- I have a mother who prays.

Beautiful Baby

2010-02-25T08:36:00.001-08:00

6 months and counting!

2010-02-05T12:01:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that Emme will be 6 months old on Sunday. Tomorrow we are celebrating our dear friend, Rylan's big 1 year... and to me that is just unbelievable. It gets me pretty emotional thinking about how fast that time has gone by and that our little babies really are growing up before our very eyes!

Emme has been entertaining us with plenty of tricks lately--- sitting up (she would basically do this all day if I would let her), grabbing everything with those pudgy fingers from hair to toys, eating solid foods like crazy (I've yet to find a food she doesn't like!), and she's even begun scooting on her tummy (usually backwards while she is crying... tummy time=torture time). I should also update on naptime and say that "Operation Emme Naps" was a sweet success! It took us about 3 weeks of crying it out (aka Mommy cries it out)- but she will now get anywhere between 1.5-3 hours of consolidated naptime in the crib without a complaint (woo-hoo!!)

My little girl also LOVES textures. She loves to squeeze plastic water bottles or the bags from Walmart or Target trips. She also loves sounds- I'll sing to her loud, then soft- or even whisper in her ear and all of sudden she will get very, very quiet. It is hilarious! She's also started giving hugs (mostly excusively to Mommy--- sorry Dad!) and making what we call "excited arms" waving them up and down quite franticly. Emme is my wiggle worm- I cherish those moments when she lets me cuddle her in my lap. I have to say that Mommyhood just keeps getting better and better.

I'll leave you with a fun video of Rylan and Emme... already best buddies! And they have already changed so much from the time I took this video at the end of Decemeber!

What I Like About You...

2010-01-15T13:17:00.000-08:00

How you tell teething who's boss!

Your cute little toes...

Your sweet smile.

I love my little girly. You brighten my day, and you are Mommy's blessing from the Lord.

Lessons in Imperfection (and why I won't give up this Blog...)

2009-12-14T09:15:00.000-08:00

So I'm slowly (very s..l..o..w..l..y) learning to give up the idea of "perfection." Ha! Even writing that sentence makes me laugh! It really is silly this notion that I have had in my head of everything being "just so" and put together. (I am a mom now, right?) Why this novel thought process?

You see I have been thinking about giving up this blog all together. I'm one of those Type A people that is bothered by not giving 100% at all things. And as you can see, October 22nd was the last time I gave this blog any attention. In my "perfect world" I'd be the girl that can actually keep up with something she's started! And this would mean weekly posts, at least! So I texted my best girlfriend and let her know... the blog was going to go. She basically told me that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and update it as I can, for Emme's sake! For posterity! Funny that she wouldn't just "let me off the hook." She made me tackle again something I've been musing about for the last few weeks....

Why should a little thing like a Blog bother me so much? Maybe the issue is bigger than a Blog.

This started me on a chain of thinking that I had to put down into words (where better but on my Blog, right?) I have started reading a book called The Heart-Connected Life by Susan Cottrell. I've been blown away by the concepts it shares. And even more so how it has related so well to my own life experiences.

If I looked closely at the pattern that God has established in my life I would see that He created me as a person that likes to maintain order, plan ahead, see what is coming, do/be the BEST at everything possible, and of course keep everyone at peace and liking me in the process! Keep looking, and I see that though God created me uniquely with this rather rigid personality- He continues to ordain the course of my life in ways that would pull and stretch me away from MY course. To be more like Him? Yes, I hope so. But what I have started to realize is that I often find myself struggling against it rather than pressing into Him to mold me into His likeness.

I guess it is Emme that has truly made me think so much about this idea of being what GOD wants me to be, rather than some cookie cutter image of what I think things should be. You see I read all of the books on motherhood and "what to expect" and how to give your infant the best start at life. I followed those directions as much as I could, and you see --- my child has yet to really be one of those kids from the books! I am not bashing the books, trust me there have been many concepts that I have been able to apply for the greater good. But I'm learning (and my friends and family will confirm)... Emme isn't a black and white kiddo! I've given up on the equation method: "If you do this... it will produce such-and-such-result." As much as I would love to have clear cut answers, wouldn't I rather have to dig a little bit, get to know MY baby- and do what is best for her? Yes there are standards that aren't to be compromised, but I'm learning that the journey to that point is just that, a journey.

I want Emme to know the heart of her Heavenly Father. And I have to model that for her. Even now I want to do what is best for her- but I'm asking God to show me what that is. Will books or advice sometimes give me a good solution, yes! But first and foremost I need to go to the Lord and ask of HIS wisdom. So that I can give Emme, not perfection, not a cookie cutter mold, but the mold that God would give me for her- that she might eventually come to know Him in a personal way.

I don't want Emme to know a Mommy that needs things to be perfect, but a Mommy that will embrace her "imperfections" so she can grow as the Lord would have her. I'm going to try and stop looking for that "Perfect" child, so I can get to know the beautiful baby I've been so graciouslly given. Aren't I glad that God did this for me? That He wants to know me personally, faults and all, sin and all, so I can become more like Him?

"God gave us all unique, wonderful children. When he endowed our precious children with all their great potential, He never intended for us to make that happen. God gives us the opportunity to facilitate our children's dreams as He leads us; we cannot become God no matter how hard we try. Even if we succeed beyond our wildest dreams in achieving success for our children, If we are not submitted to God, we missed it. "

"We control our children when we have unreachable expectations or offer conditional acceptance. We think this will inspire them to do better. But unreachable expectations do not inspire anyone to greatness. No one drew near to the heart of God by keeping the law. And no one drew near to the heart of their parents by meeting their standards. The law drives us to defeat. After all, that is the purpose of the law."- The Heart-Connected Life

So I'm praying that God will help me to better embrace my imperfections, love my family, and become more like Him in all of these things.

Milestones

2009-10-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

Seems as though Emme has grown up SO much since my last post! I can't believe how big she is getting, and how much fun she is. I will be the first to admit that we had a VERY challenging first 8 weeks or so! Poor Em had a lot of digestive issues, and so there was a lot of crying involved for Mommy and Baby! It is like the fog has started to lift and Ben and I are enjoying our Little Bit so very much. Every day it feels like she is learning something new and showing us more and more of her smiles, coos, and happy heart. She is sleeping through the night (most nights!) and wake time is becoming play time! Naps are even getting more consistent with each day that goes by. I want to encourage all new moms out there that Motherhood just keeps getting better and better. You never know what challenges may be headed your way when you step into this new role, but there is grace for every day--- and the milestones that are ahead of you make the first few weeks so completely worth it. Here is just a sample of the precious time I've been enjoying with Emme lately! I can't wait to see what is next!

I Can't Wear Pink Everyday!

2009-09-30T11:36:00.001-07:00

Wisconsin Trip Update

2009-09-22T13:25:00.000-07:00

Well thank you to all of you that prayed for safe travel and a good time with my parents in Wisconsin. Emme and I had a fabulous visit that included to relatively painless airplane rides! The only drama of the entire week occured on the flight back to DFW! The flight to Milwaukee was truly a breeze. Emme slept the entire time and didn't make a peep. The ride home was a little more interesting- but not because of Little Miss... because of a major mommy mishap!

Apparently my flight was scheduled to leave at 4:05 pm... not 4:35 pm. This makes a HUGE difference in the flying world. We arrived at the airport an hour before my "supposed" flight- since this airport is super easy to navigate and never takes more than a couple minutes to check in and get through security. Needless to say there were tears involved and I was RUNNING down the hallways to catch my flight. Relief set in when I actually made it on the plane! Praise the Lord (and my bag even arrived in DFW- which I did not foresee would have been a possibiltity given the amount of time I didn't have!)

I have to give kudos to my AMAZING baby who took all of this stress in stride, even having to eat 30 minutes late, in the very back seat of a plane- after her mother practically carried her by her neck to make it to the gate! After eating and a quick poopy diaper change (they do have changing tables in the super small bathroom!) Emme was asleep for the rest of the flight.

Our time in Wisconsin was priceless. We enjoyed time in the dowtown Cedarburg area- which is a lot like Mayberry- circa Andy Griffith. We visited local coffee shops and checked out an apple orchard. Our visit also included many naps for both mommy and Emme- and much needed downtime. The weather was beautiful and we really enjoyed the time with Grammy D. and Papa John. Emme started smiling so much this past week. She is changing every day it seems. Here are a few pictures from our visit.

Leavin' On A Jet Plane...

2009-09-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is a big day! Emme and I are leaving early in the morning to visit Grammy and Papa John in Wisconsin. I have to say I am definitely nervous about taking my 5 week old though the flight process. Since Ben is busy bringin' home the bacon (thank you, Honey!) I am making the trip alone. And I am so used to doing these sort of things with my man by my side- taking the lead in stride! I guess I am most fearful about the limited space I have to keep her occupied during the 2 1/2 hour journey. I am planning to follow advice I have heard from others about feeding her during take off and landing, and then hoping and praying that she will sleep during the majority of the flight. Wish me luck, and say a prayer if you think of us! I will update next week with a report from our trip up North!

One Month Birthday!

2009-09-07T11:02:00.000-07:00

One month ago today I was having a different sort of "labor day." Ha! But today we are celebrating one month with our beautiful Emme Lou. She is such a blessing to us and we just treasure every second with her! I leave you with a few pics of our little lady...

First Trip to Walmart...

2009-08-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

I must start by saying that I would call my first solo trip to Walmart with Emme a total success. Considering that the Denton Walmart has quite the reputation for being, let's call it, "interesting" at times- and I had no way to predict how baby was going to handle the outing, I really feel quite satisfied with my experience! Emme slept the entire time, including the car ride home- so no complaints here!

I do have a few things I must share though. I know that Emme is absolutely the most adorable baby- and can draw quite the fan club in public (which I don't mind!) But is it absolutely necessary for perfect strangers to touch random children? Especially when they are clearly newborns, covered with a blanket, and happily sleeping? I had a well meaning woman come up to my cart today and start touching Emme's toes and the blanket I had over her lower half. She didn't appear to be dirty or sick, but really? I felt the sudden need to disinfect my child as well as her clothing, pacifier, and car seat--- I was already nervous about her just setting foot in a Walmart for Pete's sake! I just never know how to handle people... you just want to blurt out, "You can look, but you can't touch!" :)

And one more funny thing- the guy that was checking us out was full of conversation and had lots of stories to tell. As I am about to pay and leave, he mentions that his wife is expecting and they just had an ultrasound to find out the gender of the baby. I replied, "Oh that's nice- boy or girl?" He responds, "It's a girl... pause... I mean, it's a boy! Crap!" Just made me laugh, and I wanted to say "Don't worry I won't tell you're wife... and you have a few more months to work on your response to that question." Funny stuff. Good times at Walmart...

Matters of the Heart

2009-08-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

Emme's cardiologist appointment went very well today. Thank you for your prayers! After an EKG and and Echo, the doctor determined that she has 2 small holes in her heart, one towards the top, and the other towards the bottom. (Not even going to attempt the medical terminology!) He said that in 99% of cases the holes will close before the child reaches 1 yr. old. But even if they don't- he said that if the wall of her heart were to represent 100%, the holes would represent only 5%- and wouldn't be cause for operating. Those words were such a relief to hear! At the most, she will have to take antibiotics before surgeries and dental procedures to prevent infection. Emme and I are both worn out from our day's events-- but it is great reassurance to know that her little heart is pumping just fine. I know the Lord is caring for her each day... the Great Physician.

2 Week Check- Up

2009-08-22T16:16:00.000-07:00

We had our 2 Week visit on Friday and Emme is growing wonderfully!

Here are the stats:
Height- 20 3/4 inches (75 %)
Weight- 8 lb 8 oz (75%)
Head Circumference- 36 cm (50%)

Praise the Lord she is so healthy! It was a busy day considering I had my 2 week check up, we got Emme's PKU done (2 pricks--- no fun at all!!!), and then went to see the pediatrician all in about a 4 hour time span!

One thing the doctor did notice however was that Emme has a heart murmur. He checked her femoral pulse though, and she is getting 100% flow. So Dr. Goff said no worries, but we need to get everything ok'd through the cardiologist. So we have an appointment to get an echo tomorrow and see for certain. Most likely it is a small hole that will either close over time, or just be a benign, "unique" thing that Emme has. I feel very at peace that everything will be ok- but please be in prayer for wisdom for the doctors and continued protection and good health for our little Em.

A New Mother's Prayer

2009-08-16T06:50:00.000-07:00

I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee, O I need Thee;Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,I come to Thee.
I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.
I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.
I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.
I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.

Annie Hawks the author of this hymn wrote:
One day as a young wife and mother of 37 years of age, I was busy with my regular household tasks. Suddenly, I became so filled with the sense of nearness to the Master that, wondering how one could live without Him, either in joy or pain, these words, “I Need Thee Every Hour,” were ushered into my mind, the thought at once taking full possession of me.

After writing the lyrics, Hawks gave them to her pastor, Robert Lowry, who added the tune and refrain. The hymn was first published at the National Baptist Sunday School Convention in Cincinnati, Ohio, in November 1872. Some years later, after the death of her husband, Hawks wrote:

I did not understand at first why this hymn had touched the great throbbing heart of humanity. It was not until long after, when the shadow fell over my way, the shadow of a great loss, that I understood something of the comforting power in the words which I had been permitted to give out to others in my hour of sweet serenity and peace.

A Baby Story (Emme Edition)

2009-08-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

So I am finally sitting down to document the big day... August 7, 2009... a much anticipated day in the Oehlschlaeger household. It brings tears of deepest joy to my eyes just to think back upon the journey- so really I think that I have to back up a bit in order to make the story come full circle.
To really relish the amazing act of God's mercy and kindness that Emme's birth is to our family. I'm sharing it because I believe it is a true testimony of God's faithfulness and His ultimate Hand of Provision in our lives. A timeline, a testament of God's glory in all circumstances.

Praise the Lord- "thankful" is truly not a big enough word...

April/May 08'- Begin the process of "trying"

August 08'- We learn that we are expecting a baby in April 09'

September 08'- 1st ultrasound at 8 weeks shows us a heart beat and baby living in my womb

October 08'- 13 Week appointment determines that our baby has gone to be with Jesus, having no indication that anything was wrong- I have a D & C- as my body has not miscarried naturally.

Thanksgiving 08'- After a period of grieving, searching, and praying- Ben and I take a fabulous trip to the Smoky Mountains. We enjoy time in nature, and relaxing in God's creation. We also get to visit with our family at my brother's house in TN. A beautiful time of healing and peace for us as we really laid the experience to rest as a couple and move forward.

December 08'- Head to the doctor as my hormone levels are having trouble leveling off. Lots of labs, tests, and questions.

January 09'- Praise the Lord, we learn that an amazing miracle has occurred... I am pregnant! Multiple tests and ultrasounds confirmed doctors suspicions, and a heart beat ultimately determines that my due date is August 13, 2009.

January 09'-August 09'- A true walk of trust and seeking the Lord's hand of protection. For me every day was an act of CHOOSING to believe that no matter the outcome, God was for us.

August 7, 2009- I am induced! We could not believe this day had finally arrived!!! Excitement is an understatement!!!

6:30 am- Arrive at the hospital 3 cm. dilated, 80 % effaced after having contractions for about 1 week- but not severe enough to spark active labor.
7:30 am- Receive cervadil to help labor progress
Early afternoon- 5 pm- Start pitocin, about 5 cm. dilated
5:30 pm- Dr. Walsh decides to kick it into high gear and break my water!
5:31 pm- WOW!!!! The party gets started and it is clear that Emme is on the way!
6:30 pm- Decide to get pain meds and epidural, since progress is slow...
8:00 pm (ish)- Receive the epidural and am able to rest for about 2 hours- thank you, Lord! 10:00 pm- Begin pushing! Yeah!!!
11:05 pm- Emme enters the world. Praise the Lord!

What a miracle Emme is. Great is Thy faithfulness....

Gearing up for the Big Day!

2009-08-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is the day! The last month has probably felt like the longest of my life! Ben and I are both so ready to meet our little girl. We have talked so much about our anticipation and have decided that it feels like the ultimate Christmas present. It is so close, and yet feels so far away all at the same time. And it is a strange feeling to know that your life is about to change so completely just in less than 24 hours. We are beyond thrilled at the thought of finally have Emme in our arms. She has already been such a blessing to us. We have grown in our faith and trust in the Lord so much, and we pray that she will come to know the Lord early in a very personal way. When I look back on our journey the past year I can see the hand of God beginning this good work in us--- and we pray His mercy as it is continued to completion.

10..9..8..7...

2009-06-07T16:51:00.000-07:00

So our countdown is officially beginning. I marked 30 weeks this past Thursday, and am amazed that baby Emme will be in our arms in just a couple short months! It has been strange how pregnancy seems to move in phases of really long... then really fast.... then the cycle repeats!

Since the whirlwind of teaching has come to a close, things don't seem to be slowing down any time soon. We are getting the room together and I have a shower on Saturday. Then Ben and I have a week planned in Austin at a resort. And before we know it, it is going to be July!

Wow! I feel so blessed to be at this point in my pregnancy. I think that Baby Emme is a miracle in every sense of the word- and I thank God and pray for her protection every day. Here is a little update on what our sweet pea is up to!

---Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds. A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. ---

30 WEEKS

It's a girl!

2009-03-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

We found out last Thursday that we are having a little girl! What a treat! Both Ben and I were SO excited. This is the first girl to be born in the Oehlschlaeger family for over 100 years! She broke the mold!
We are going to name her Emme Lou Oehlschlaeger. Her name means "loved, hard working, brave." I know she will be all of those things and just pray every day that the Lord will give Ben and I wisdom to raise her as He would will. Here are a few pics of our 18 week ultra sound. We just praise God that she is growing healthy and strong, and pray that by His mercy He would continue to allow her to develop day by day!

Everything Rides on Hope...

2009-03-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

Heard this song on the radio and it just so well encompasses the Christian walk. There are so many ups and downs in life, and so many opportunities for us to see God's grace, and His hand in everything. That is my prayer.

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of?
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
When my life is like a storm
Rising waters- all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

You've become my heart's desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

Hope Now by Addison Road

More Reasons to Praise!

2009-01-29T18:35:00.000-08:00

We are rejoicing once more! Yesterday we went for our 12 week appt. and were so blessed to hear a strong heart beat from our little one. I am daily amazed at God's gracious love towards us. Throughout this journey, the Lord has just reminded me over and over how much He cares for His children. All I can say is, "Great is Thy Faithfulness!" We are grateful for every prayer that goes up for Baby O. We will keep everyone updated.

Life... more abundantly...

2009-01-16T20:38:00.000-08:00

10 Week Pics of Baby O... praise the Lord as we continue to pray for his/her growth in the coming weeks!

A New Year Brings New Life

2009-01-03T16:45:00.000-08:00

Where do I begin? We praised God as we walked into the sonographer's office yesterday and greeted the new year by saying hello to our 8 week old baby! It was the sweetest sound to hear the pounding of our child's heart, and I was reminded of the gracious love of my Heavenly Father.

I feel beyond blessed to have this gift in my life. It is an amazing thing to truly feel God has reached down and seen me in my depths. It is as though He has made His heart evident to me.

It sounds so cliche, but while I do not know what the future holds, I do know Who holds the future. He comforts me, and gently reminds me of His love. I'm not trusting in science, or doctors, or my own ability (ha!) to keep this baby alive... with the power of my Savior I am hoping in Him. He is the one who numbers the days of our children, and allows their protection. With an open hand, I pray God's blessing for our little one, whom we hope to hold in early August.

Thank you for your continued prayers as we take this new walk of faith and gratitude.

Romans 12:12

2008-12-30T09:00:00.001-08:00

Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.

A reflection on control (or my lack thereof...)

2008-11-16T21:05:00.000-08:00

I've discovered that everything is really all about control.

The truth about control:
I've discovered first hand that God has it and has always had it.
I've discovered that for a time, and from time to time, I've been under the illusion that I have it. For the past month and a half I've been (am) learning to surrender it.
Tonight again I feel the crushing sensation of giving it up.

Every day it is giving up control again. Every day it is a realization that I am owed nothing, that I have no right to the house with the picket fence, the 2.5 kids, and the family dog. Even when we have those things, they are not OURS. Even the agonizing pain I am experiencing now, is not my own... it was God's purpose that Ben and I be refined by fire for HIS glory.

God's word says:
"Everything in the heavens and earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as being in control of everything. Riches and honor come from you alone, and you are the Ruler of all mankind; your hand controls power and might, and it is at your discretion that men are made great and given strength."
I Chronicles 29:11-12

So I find that my problems stem from a faulty belief... "MY possessions, MY dreams, MY friends, MY husband, MY child, MY family, MY job, MY education, MY future, ad infinitum..." And releasing these "MY's" is quite undoing... and painful and continual. While I know my faith is secure, and that I've been a follower of Christ since childhood, the undoing of "MY's" forms a different commitment, a painful yet necessary operation--- in which all of life is rearranged.

I have been pondering Howard Dayton's ideas on ownership versus Lordship:

If we are going to be genuine followers of Christ, we must transfer the ownership of our possessions to the Lord. "No one... can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions" (Luke 14:33). In my experience I have found that the Lord will sometimes test us by asking that we be willing to relinquish the very possession that is dearest to us.
It is important for the child of God to realize that his heavenly Father orchestrates even seemingly devestating circumstances for ultimate good in the lives of the godly. "I am the Lord, and there is no other, the One forming light and creating darkness, causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these" (Isaiah 45: 6-7)
"God can't use a person to the maximum, until he or she has been hurt deeply." A.W. Tozer
God is the owner. He is in control of every circumstance, and He has promised to meet our needs.

I can not say that I am content, that would make me a liar. But I can say that my heavenly Father is teaching me much about contentment and I pray to be found faithful, even in my great, great weakness, failure, and mistrust. I often cry, "Lord I believe! Help my unbelief!"

"For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines... He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness." Hebrews 12:6, 10-11

For Ben...

2008-11-08T11:27:00.001-08:00

I'm pretty much convinced I have the best husband in the world. Through everything he has never once complained. I'm so blessed to be married to Ben. This song reminded me of his attitude and outlook even during some of our darkest hours. Without getting too sappy... our love has grown so much stronger because of this experience. Love you, honey.

I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying

Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late

'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away'

Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the worlds crashing down
And you can not bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost

Letting go...

2008-11-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

Concretely, abandonment consists in seeing the will of God in all the people, events and circumstances present to you. If God tears up your beautiful game plan and leads you into a valley instead of onto a mountaintop, it is because He wants you to discover His plan, which is more beautiful than anything you or I could have dreamed up. The response of trust is "Thank you, Jesus," even if it is said through clenched teeth.

One of the greatest paradoxes of the Gospel is that surrender is victory. "The man who loses his life finds it." What makes surrender difficult is our lack of faith, our fears and insecurities, our need to manage our own lives and those of others, our little plans to which we cling so tightly.

You will trust God only as much as you love Him. And you will love Him not because you have studied Him; you will love Him because you have touched Him---in response to His touch. Even then your troubles are not over. You may still wrangle with God. You may cry out with Jesus, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" Only if you love will you make that final leap into darkness: "Father, into Your hands I commend my spirit."

-Brennan Manning

Eliot's Story

2008-10-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

I know... two entries in one day... but I couldn't resist sharing it.

I happened upon Oprah tonight and was touched by the story of Eliot Mooney. A baby that lived only 3 months, yet his parents' faith is so strong- and they give all glory to God. Watch their video on you tube first...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qILw1iFzmIE

It made me think about our baby, and how its life is sacred, and God cares. And our baby is in heaven with the Lord. Reading Ginny's (Eliot's mom) blog describes so exactly the way that I am feeling, and imagine I will feel if the Lord provides another child for Ben and myself. I hope you will take the time to read through some of her thoughts, she speaks much more eloquently than myself, and yet it speaks the truth of my reality for now... check out the entry on October 11th... it pretty much says it all.

http://thespectacularvernacular.blogspot.com/

Praise You in this Storm

2008-10-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

What my heart is holding on to by a thread...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw

I was sure by now,
that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again,
I say amen and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth

Psalm 57

2008-10-24T04:53:00.000-07:00

Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me,
For my soul takes refuge in You;
And in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge
Until destruction passes by.
I will cry to God Most High,
To God who accomplishes all things for me.
He will send from heaven and save me;
He reproaches him who tramples upon me.
God will send forth His lovingkindness and His truth.
~~~
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises!
Awake, my glory!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the peoples;
I will sing praises to You among the nations.
For Your lovingkindness is great to the heavens
And Your truth to the clouds.
Be exalted above the heavens, O God;
Let Your glory be above all the earth.

Psalm 46

2008-10-23T04:52:00.000-07:00

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

Cease striving and know that I am God.

A Grief Observed

2008-10-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in.

And no one ever told me about the laziness of grief. Except at my job--- where the machine seems to run on much as usual--- I loathe the slightest effort... They say the unhappy man wants distractions--- something to take him out of himself...It's easy to see why the lonely become untidy, finally, dirty and disgusting.

Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms... Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble? I tried to put some of these thoughts to a friend this afternoon. He reminded me that the same thing seems to have happened to Christ: 'Why has thou forsaken me?' I know. Does that make it easier to understand?

An odd byproduct of my loss is that I'm aware of being an embarrassment to everyone I meet. At work, at the club, in the street, I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they'll 'say something about it' or not. I hate if they do, and if they don't.

You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover hou much you really trusted it? Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.

Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand.

Up till this I always had too little time. Now there is nothing but time. Almost pure time, empty successiveness.

Psalm 86

Hear me, LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and oppressed.
Preserve my life, for I am loyal; save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; pity me, Lord; to you I call all the day.
Gladden the soul of your servant; to you, Lord, I lift up my soul.
Lord, you are kind and forgiving, most loving to all who call on you.
LORD, hear my prayer; listen to my cry for help.
In this time of trouble I call, for you will answer me.

Somewhere

2008-10-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

Somewhere
Between the lost and the found
We're all hanging empty
Empty and upside down
But I'm hanging on
Though the fall may tempt me
And I believe in the dawn
Though I tremble in the night

Somewhere
Amidst these ins and these outs
There's a fine line of purpose
I follow even now
Through the haze of despair
That confuses and hurts us
I look to see that You're there
And I run toward Your light

Somewhere
Beyond these reasons and feelings
Somewhere
Beyond the passion and fatigue
I know You're there
And that Your Spirit is leading me
Somewhere
Beyond all this

Someday
Now I don't know when
But I know that You're coming
You're coming back again
And the earth will burn away
And the sky fill with thundering
As it announces the day
That has finally arrived

Somewhere
While the time is still now
While we're hanging empty
Empty and upside down
But I'm hanging on
With all that is in me
And I'll sing my songs
And I'll laugh until I fly

Somewhere
Beyond these reasons and feelings
Somewhere
Beyond the passion and fatigue
I know You're there
And that Your Spirit is leading me

Somewhere
Beyond all this

The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus

2008-10-10T15:13:00.000-07:00

"... and that's the way the Father of Jesus is: He loves those most who need Him most, who rely on Him, depend upon Him and trust Him in everything. Little He cares whether you've been as pure as St. John or as sinful as the prostitute in Simon the Pharisee's house. All that matters is trust. It seems to me that learning how to trust God defines the meaning of Christian living. God doesn't wait until we have our moral life in order before He starts loving us."

Hold Me Jesus

2008-10-09T19:49:00.000-07:00

Well sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul I swear there must be blisters on my heart
So hold me Jesus 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down
I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus
'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Psalm 23:4

2008-10-06T15:44:00.000-07:00

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
C.S. Lewis

My Sentiments Exactly...

2008-10-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there

There's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't nothing to be ashamed of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there

Now, People say maybe things will get better
People say maybe it won't be long
And people say maybe you'll wake up tomorrow
And it'll all be gone
Well I only know that maybes just ain't enough
When you need something to hold on
There's only one thing that's clear

I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there

-Uncle Rich Mullins

Blessed and Broken

2008-10-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

“I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground” (Isaiah 44:3).

Just one of the many verses that have been sent to me through e-mail, cards, texts, and phone calls over the past 2 days. 2 days... it feels like a year. Thank you dear friends, please keep them coming, my weary soul covets your prayers.

I do feel dry right now, I do feel thirsty, I do feel broken, I do feel needy, I do feel too many things to comprehend.

I do feel that schedules don't matter, plans don't matter, our "schemes" for what "we" should do with "our" lives are silly and inconsequential.

I spent a lot of time being selfish before all of this. I still feel selfish. My heart longs for my unborn child. I spent a lot of time talking about what was going to happen. What my life was going to look like. It wasn't malicious, or purposefully self-centered. But pretty much things were under control. Things are not under my control. That is ok. But that is a new reality. I said, "Lord willing..." but in my heart, I pretty much thought it would be my way.

I've been asking for forgiveness a lot. I want the Lord to know that I am totally His. His Will, His Plans, His Purposes. My mind and heart don't have room for anything else now. I can't walk without his Hand. One breath from Him and we rise or fall.

I know His plans for me are good. Satan won't defeat me, though he tries to slay me in the battleground of my mind right now. Strangely, right before all of this happened, I had been reading Isaiah 40 during my quiet times. It talks about how God is in control. How can I question his sovereignty in all of this?

"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
And marked off the heavens by the span,
And calculated the dust of the earth by the measure,
And weighed the mountains in a balance
And the hills in a pair of scales?
Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord,
Or as His counselor has informed Him?
With whom did He consult and who gave Him understanding?
And who taught Him in the path of justice and taught Him knowledge?
And infomed Him of the way of understanding?
Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket,
And are regarded as a speck of dust on the scales;
Behold, he lifts up the islands like fine dust.
Even Lebanon is not enough to burn,
Nor its beasts enough for a burnt offering.
All the nations are as nothing before Him,
They are regarded by Him as less than nothing and meaningless....

Do you now know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might he increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

Glory Baby

2008-10-02T01:13:00.000-07:00

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby.. You were growing, what happened dear? You disappeared on us baby…baby.. Heaven will hold you before we do Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you… Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday Miss you in every way But we know there’s aday when we will hold you We will hold you You’ll kiss our tears away When we’re home to stay Can’t wait for the day when we will see you We will see you But baby let sweet Jesus hold you‘till mom and dad can hold you… You’ll just have heaven before we do You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it’s hard tounderstand it ‘cause we’re hurting We are hurting But there is healing And we know we’re stronger people through the growing And in knowing- That all things work together for our good And God works His purposes just like He said He would… Just like He said He would…

I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies and what they must sound like But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

And Baby Makes Three!

2008-09-03T19:15:00.001-07:00

Ben and I are so excited to announce that we are expecting a little one April 11, 2009. It has been an amazing journey to this point, and we are so thrilled to begin this new chapter together. We truly covet your prayers as we ask for health and already the beginnings of a relationship wtih Christ for our new baby. I am going to my best to keep the blog updated with the latest of what's going on during my pregnancy. To begin, a Psalm that I have been meditating for the last 4+ weeks...

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Such a comfort to know that our little one is being molded and shaped by a Sovereign and All- Powerful God!

Here is some video footage of our sonogram today , more photos are posted on my facebook site!