Tears in a Target Store...

Don't let the title alarm you, I'm sure most of you out there view Target as your happy place (I know I do). I use it as often as my budget will allow as an "out" from my weekly torture trips to Walmart. The tears I am referring to are those of tenderness, reflection, and joy.

Emme and I stopped in to the store this morning for a little outing and to pick up just a few things. While there, I couldn't help but browse the baby section (as they always have adorable clothes, accessories, and various and sundry things for little ones I find amusing). I pulled my cart over and looked over at the cutest little sundresses for baby girls and noticed that the sizes only went up to 12 months. For some reason this wave of emotion just rolled over me! Anything I would buy for Emme would be a 9 month outfit... leaving only one more size before she is "promoted" to the "toddler" clothing. What?!?

Emme was happily playing in the cart (which she now sits up in)! And I just couldn't help but fight back tears. She all of a sudden seems to be growing up so quickly. I will be the first to admit that the first 3 months of infancy were painfully slow for us. But now, things just keep getting more and more fun as Emme's sweet personality keeps developing.

All that to say... I just enjoy my little girl so much and every day with her is a treat. At MOMs group on Tuesday, one of our leaders again exhorted us to pray for our children. She suggested 5 specific areas.

• Salvation- Lord, would you draw Emme's heart to YOU. Would her ears hear YOUR voice at an early age. That she would be sensitive to YOUR calling, recognize her sin and need for Jesus as Savior, and accept the free gift of Christ. Sanctify her and keep her yearning for the Lord.
• Friends- I have heard it said, "Show me your friends, and I will show you your future." Lord, surround Emme with Christlike buddies. Peers that also seek You first and are unafraid of standing out from the world's trends. Protect her from the evil one that would try and expose her to people/things that would harm her. Help her to have discernment and be willing to stand for Truth.
• Purity- Guard Emme's heart, O God. Help her to trust You with today as well as the uncertainties of tomorrow- seeking God's best and waiting on Him. Prepare her for her future mate and let her affections rest in You alone.
• Schoolwork- Give her diligence, perseverance, and a desire to be obedient to authority. Give us wisdom to lead her in responsibility and good workmanship. May she seek to please and serve the Lord as the Master of her work, rather than men.
• Church Involvement- I pray that Emme would seek to pursue a relationship with her Heavenly Father over religion. Set her heart on learning the things of eternal value. Help us to show her how to hide God's Word in her heart, discover spiritual gifts, and use the talents God has given her to benefit the Kingdom.

Dedication Day

Father, I pray that Emme will live a blameless life, trusting You without wavering. Keep Your loving-kindness before her eyes. Help her walk continually in Your truth (Psalm 26:1,3). I pray that she will be sensitive to Your Holy Spirit, inviting You to search her heart, revealing any hurtful way. Lead her in the everlasting way (Psalm 139:23-24). May she put away any false god or teaching and yield her heart to You (Joshua 24:23). Amen.

Time Management 101

This past week I have learned quite a lesson in time management.... in other words, I overbooked myself. Being a new mommy I have already gone through a season of quiet- I mean the kind of quiet where you start to go a little bit crazy-- and this week I experienced the other side of that coin.

By my own admission I will say that I didn't coordinate my calendar well, leaving me feeling spent- and wondering how being a "stay at home" mom all of a sudden became so hectic.

I have been going through the Study A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George at MOM's group, and it has really challenged me to think about listening to what God would have me do with "my" time, rather than just nonchalantly planning out the week and saying "YES" to everything.

A few points I've been pondering as I lean on God's grace and hopefully learn from this week!

• Am I watching over my home (like the Proverbs 31 woman) or am I glancing?
• Am I living as though I will be held accountable for the use of my time?
• Am I taking the time to sow what I wish to reap?
• Am I really being quiet before the Lord and listening for His voice to guide my steps?

I was inspired by this poem Ms. George quoted in her book:

Some have had kings in their lineage, Some to whome honor was paid. Not blest of my ancestors- but, I have a mother who prays.

I have a mother who prays for me, and pleads with the Lord every day for me. O what a difference it makes for me- I have a mother who prays.

Some have worldly success, and trust in riches they've made- This is my surest asset. I have a mother who prays.

My mother's prayer cannot save me, only mine can avail; But mother introduced me to Someone- Someone who never could fail.

Oh Yes... I have a mother who prays for me, and pleads with the Lord every day for me. O what a difference it makes for me- I have a mother who prays.

Beautiful Baby

6 months and counting!

I can't believe that Emme will be 6 months old on Sunday. Tomorrow we are celebrating our dear friend, Rylan's big 1 year... and to me that is just unbelievable. It gets me pretty emotional thinking about how fast that time has gone by and that our little babies really are growing up before our very eyes!

Emme has been entertaining us with plenty of tricks lately--- sitting up (she would basically do this all day if I would let her), grabbing everything with those pudgy fingers from hair to toys, eating solid foods like crazy (I've yet to find a food she doesn't like!), and she's even begun scooting on her tummy (usually backwards while she is crying... tummy time=torture time). I should also update on naptime and say that "Operation Emme Naps" was a sweet success! It took us about 3 weeks of crying it out (aka Mommy cries it out)- but she will now get anywhere between 1.5-3 hours of consolidated naptime in the crib without a complaint (woo-hoo!!)

My little girl also LOVES textures. She loves to squeeze plastic water bottles or the bags from Walmart or Target trips. She also loves sounds- I'll sing to her loud, then soft- or even whisper in her ear and all of sudden she will get very, very quiet. It is hilarious! She's also started giving hugs (mostly excusively to Mommy--- sorry Dad!) and making what we call "excited arms" waving them up and down quite franticly. Emme is my wiggle worm- I cherish those moments when she lets me cuddle her in my lap. I have to say that Mommyhood just keeps getting better and better.

I'll leave you with a fun video of Rylan and Emme... already best buddies! And they have already changed so much from the time I took this video at the end of Decemeber!

What I Like About You...

How you tell teething who's boss!

Your cute little toes...

Your sweet smile.

I love my little girly. You brighten my day, and you are Mommy's blessing from the Lord.

Lessons in Imperfection (and why I won't give up this Blog...)

So I'm slowly (very s..l..o..w..l..y) learning to give up the idea of "perfection." Ha! Even writing that sentence makes me laugh! It really is silly this notion that I have had in my head of everything being "just so" and put together. (I am a mom now, right?) Why this novel thought process?

You see I have been thinking about giving up this blog all together. I'm one of those Type A people that is bothered by not giving 100% at all things. And as you can see, October 22nd was the last time I gave this blog any attention. In my "perfect world" I'd be the girl that can actually keep up with something she's started! And this would mean weekly posts, at least! So I texted my best girlfriend and let her know... the blog was going to go. She basically told me that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and update it as I can, for Emme's sake! For posterity! Funny that she wouldn't just "let me off the hook." She made me tackle again something I've been musing about for the last few weeks....

Why should a little thing like a Blog bother me so much? Maybe the issue is bigger than a Blog.

This started me on a chain of thinking that I had to put down into words (where better but on my Blog, right?) I have started reading a book called The Heart-Connected Life by Susan Cottrell. I've been blown away by the concepts it shares. And even more so how it has related so well to my own life experiences.

If I looked closely at the pattern that God has established in my life I would see that He created me as a person that likes to maintain order, plan ahead, see what is coming, do/be the BEST at everything possible, and of course keep everyone at peace and liking me in the process! Keep looking, and I see that though God created me uniquely with this rather rigid personality- He continues to ordain the course of my life in ways that would pull and stretch me away from MY course. To be more like Him? Yes, I hope so. But what I have started to realize is that I often find myself struggling against it rather than pressing into Him to mold me into His likeness.

I guess it is Emme that has truly made me think so much about this idea of being what GOD wants me to be, rather than some cookie cutter image of what I think things should be. You see I read all of the books on motherhood and "what to expect" and how to give your infant the best start at life. I followed those directions as much as I could, and you see --- my child has yet to really be one of those kids from the books! I am not bashing the books, trust me there have been many concepts that I have been able to apply for the greater good. But I'm learning (and my friends and family will confirm)... Emme isn't a black and white kiddo! I've given up on the equation method: "If you do this... it will produce such-and-such-result." As much as I would love to have clear cut answers, wouldn't I rather have to dig a little bit, get to know MY baby- and do what is best for her? Yes there are standards that aren't to be compromised, but I'm learning that the journey to that point is just that, a journey.

I want Emme to know the heart of her Heavenly Father. And I have to model that for her. Even now I want to do what is best for her- but I'm asking God to show me what that is. Will books or advice sometimes give me a good solution, yes! But first and foremost I need to go to the Lord and ask of HIS wisdom. So that I can give Emme, not perfection, not a cookie cutter mold, but the mold that God would give me for her- that she might eventually come to know Him in a personal way.

I don't want Emme to know a Mommy that needs things to be perfect, but a Mommy that will embrace her "imperfections" so she can grow as the Lord would have her. I'm going to try and stop looking for that "Perfect" child, so I can get to know the beautiful baby I've been so graciouslly given. Aren't I glad that God did this for me? That He wants to know me personally, faults and all, sin and all, so I can become more like Him?

"God gave us all unique, wonderful children. When he endowed our precious children with all their great potential, He never intended for us to make that happen. God gives us the opportunity to facilitate our children's dreams as He leads us; we cannot become God no matter how hard we try. Even if we succeed beyond our wildest dreams in achieving success for our children, If we are not submitted to God, we missed it. "

"We control our children when we have unreachable expectations or offer conditional acceptance. We think this will inspire them to do better. But unreachable expectations do not inspire anyone to greatness. No one drew near to the heart of God by keeping the law. And no one drew near to the heart of their parents by meeting their standards. The law drives us to defeat. After all, that is the purpose of the law."- The Heart-Connected Life

So I'm praying that God will help me to better embrace my imperfections, love my family, and become more like Him in all of these things.